The Courage to be Disliked- Key takeaways

Last week I finished #reading The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

Generally, I am not a big fan of the self-help genre, but these days I have been tentatively immersing myself slightly into these books that promise to change your life.

Although my father has always been a great #RobinSharma fan and I had literally grown up seeing my father immerse himself in books like "Who moved my cheese" and "The monk who sold his Ferrari", the first one I picked up was #AtomicHabits by #JamesClear and since it was no remotely disappointing, I was emboldened to pick up the next in my recommended list.

The #CourageToBeDisliked is essentially a conversation between a philosopher and a youth. The youth is representing us, by us, I mean the common man. He shoots a volley of questions at the philosopher and trusts me, it's like all the questions that I have more than once debated in my own mind.

I found a lot of my own questions in the book. So, if you ask, "and did you get answers?" well not all but here are a few takeaways from my understanding.

Trauma doesn't exist.

Yes, the philosopher completely rejects the idea of trauma. If you thought you can attribute all your flaws, inefficiencies, lethargy, inertia, mid-life crisis, ailments, plain and simple laziness to that past life or childhood trauma, then no this book says you are just inventing those by #CHOOSING not to #CHANGE.

"WE ARE NOT DETERMINED BY OUR EXPERIENCES, BUT THE MEANING WE GIVE THEM IS SELF-DETERMINING."

PEOPLE ALWAYS CHOOSE NOT TO CHANGE. YOU ARE ONLY UNABLE TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING THE DECISION NOT TO.

You cannot blame your unhappiness on your past. "One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy."

Your life is decided HERE and NOW.

All problems are #Interpersonal #Relationship problems. Now, this one was the most contentious statement. Even I was curious to know how can all of one's life problems be narrowed down to "interpersonal relationship" problems. But the philosopher manages to convince the youth almost and his reader partially.

"You don't understand how I feel." is a statement all of us have used at least once in our lives. The philosopher argues that by using just this one line, we are boxing ourselves as someone special and so " As long as one continues to use one's misfortune to one's advantage in order to be 'special', one will always need that misfortune."

It is enough to be moving forward, without comparing/competing with anyone.

A healthy feeling of #inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others, but from one's comparison with one's ideal self.

Admitting fault is not #Defeat. It shows the strength of #Character and #courage.

#Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart.

Forcing #change while ignoring a person's intentions will only lead to an intense #reaction. This is particularly discussed in the context of #parenting.

Children do not become what their #parents want them to become. In their choices of #university, place of employment, and partner in #marriage, and even in the everyday subtleties of speech and conduct, they do not act according to their parent's wishes.

Though the child is one's own, he or she is not living to satisfy one's expectations as a parent.

Let this sink in!!

All you can do with regard to your own #life is choose the best path you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgment do other people pass on that choice is the task of other people and is not a matter you can do anything about.

#Children who have not been taught to confront challenges will try to avoid all challenges.

THERE IS NO REASON OF ANY SORT THAT ONE SHOULD NOT LIVE ONE'S LIFE AS ONE PLEASES.

FREEDOM is being disliked by other people.

If you are being disliked by someone, It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom and a sign that you are living in accordance of your own principles.

There is a cost incurred when one wants to exercise one's freedom and that cost is to be disliked by other people.

The #CourageToBeHappy also includes the #courageToBeDisliked.

Let's all #CHOOSE #FREEDOM and have the #COURAGE to be #DISLIKED!

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