Courage or Confidence—What Matters Most?

Courage is such an important word for me today. Surviving two cancers in less than four years profoundly altered my perspective on life. Early on, I decided to view cancer as an opportunity—a chance to gain what is known as "mortality motivation." This motivation pushed me to step out of my comfort zone every day, even if that meant speaking to a bunch of strangers about courage.

Reflecting on courage and confidence, I've noticed many people use these words interchangeably. Yet, their distinction is crucial. When people express a desire to be confident, what they really seek is the courage to act. Most believe confidence is what initiates new ventures and keeps us going, but it's actually courage that plays the pivotal role. Confidence is a byproduct of courage—it follows when you repeatedly allow yourself to try new things. Courage is what you need to spark any positive change.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." Ambrose Redmoon

Courage vs. Confidence

As a High-Performance Coach, I've learned that most fear, outside of physical threats, is simply poor mind management. Emotional fears can be tackled once you understand their roots. Often, we're held back by not connecting with something greater than our fears—something worth fighting for. Have you considered what you're afraid of losing that causes so much anxiety? In my coaching practice, I help clients identify the primary fears of resisting change. Once you understand what you fear, things become less intimidating.

The Three Types of Pain We Fear

Loss Pain: We worry that advancing or changing our lives means losing something valuable, a benefit we already have.

Process Pain: We fear the effort required for change will be overwhelming, thinking we aren't capable of handling the hardship.

Outcome Pain: We dread that all our efforts might not lead to a better outcome, fearing disappointment if the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Uncertainty will always exist—about outcomes, the environment, support, and reactions from others. Courage is the secret sauce that propels us to act despite these fears. It's not about the absence of fear, but about moving forward anyway, even if it means facing failure, rejection, or judgment. Courage is giving yourself permission to be imperfect at something new. With consistent practice, you're rewarded with confidence. Confidence emerges when you become familiar with the process, but you must first take the leap.

Zig Ziglar summed it up perfectly:

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to become great."

When you are stuck in loss pain, you focus only on what you could lose in the change process; counterbalance this by focusing on what you could gain instead. When you are worried about the hardship of the process, focus on how you can bring joy, even when it's uncomfortable. All worthwhile changes bring hardship.

We often fear inadequacy, thinking, "I can't handle this," "I'm not smart enough," or "I don't know how to do that." Instead, shift your perspective to, "I'm not good enough to do that YET!" because you haven't trained for that—YET.

You don't need everything figured out before you begin. Strength, knowledge, and talent come after you start. There's only one path to feeling more confident or stronger—by having the courage to take action.

”When you are acting from a place of courage you are saying that no matter how you feel about yourself or your opportunities or the outcome, you are going to take a risk and take a step toward what you want. You are willing to allow yourself to be vulnerable – in showing your art, starting a business that might succeed or fail, having an opinion on something, being in a relationship. You are not waiting for the confidence to mysteriously arrive.” Dani Shapiro

Reinterpreting Pain and Summoning Courage

Confidence builds over time, which is why courage is crucial—it precedes confidence. Ask yourself what you're delaying until you feel more confident. How can you reinterpret pain to summon courage for new or important endeavors? What reminders do you need to leave your comfort zone?

Decide that your 2025 will not be a year of avoidance. Choose to raise your ambitions and make this the year you move the needle forward.

We become what we focus on. To cultivate courage, consider journaling on the following prompts:

• Identify a situation where you've hesitated due to a lack of confidence. What small step can you take today?
• Reflect on past experiences where courage led to growth. What did you learn about yourself?
• Visualize a future where you've achieved your goals. How did courage play a role in getting there?

Remember, courage is the catalyst for transformation. Allow it to guide you toward the confidence you seek. Make the conscious choice to act today and create the life you desire.