The Courage to Change
Mark Lefebvre
Partnership Manager at Better Life Partners, Author, Radio DJ, Podcast Producer
While listening to Fleetwood Mac’s Bare Trees album recently, I was struck by the beauty of the cover art showing a cluster of young trees, barren and barely visible in a blanket of dense fog. I have often imagined that the annual cycle of deciduous trees dropping leaves is an apt metaphor for the concept of change. This album cover is a wonderfully spartan example of that thought.
Change is a major tenet of the12 Step recovery program. Specifically, in Step 6, we declare our readiness to remove our so-called defects of character, while in Step 7 we humbly ask our concept of a higher power to remove these traits. While the intent is noble, I bristle at the phrase “defects of character” as it fails to acknowledge that these characteristics may have been a survival mechanism during childhood or adolescent trauma. They may have served a purpose. There was a time when they were not defects.
However, if we are honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge that these character traits are no longer needed. And if we are courageous enough, we put these characteristics out in the open sunlight, and therefore greatly reduce their power. We have our program, our community, our family and other connections to guide us away from past behavior and our way of thinking that is detrimental to our journey. We learn to develop healthier ways to deal with everyday situations.
I find it helpful to occasionally reflect on my behavior or my reaction to these everyday situations. What was my motivation? Was I dishonest? Was I angry? Could I have approached this situation differently? This exercise is not to beat myself up, but to learn. To change.
Back to the cover art of the Fleetwood Mac record. The trees in the photo are indeed bare but cloaked in fog. The fog is obstructing our view of the trees. Where are the defects? We can assume they (the leaves) are on the ground. Where is the change? We hope that there are sprouts waiting for warmth and sunlight to nurture a renewed cycle of growth. This is the beauty of change.
#recovery #nostigma #noshame #change