Counting Confidence, Not Cash: Reclaiming Your Worth Beyond Wealth
September 8, 2024

Counting Confidence, Not Cash: Reclaiming Your Worth Beyond Wealth

Money is a complex and emotional topic. For many, it can be tied to feelings of self-worth, confidence, and even identity. Imposter syndrome is often exacerbated by financial pressures and insecurities. This summer I read The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel and We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers. Both authors explore how our perceptions of money can influence our mental and emotional well-being, including the development of imposter syndrome.

There are two things I have struggled with my entire life: my weight and my finances. I have shared in previous editions of this newsletter my success story around weight loss. What I am still working on is my financial mindset. Don't get me wrong, I have made leaps and bounds in the last 5 years - more than all the years before that. But it's still the monkey on my back and that of many others! These two reads have been integral to my continued progress in reframing how I view the most important thing money can buy - TIME!

In this issue of Unleash Your Audacity, I explore how money can be a big factor in eliciting imposter feelings. The constant need to keep up with the Joneses is a sure fire way to never really be able to keep up with them. I use Housel's and Rodger's books to drive my points home and explore:

  1. The role of money in shaping our self-worth
  2. The intersection of money and imposter syndrome
  3. Recommendations for shifting our paradigms about money

The Role of Money in Shaping Our Self-Worth

In The Psychology of Money, Housel explains that money is rarely just about numbers—it’s about behavior, emotions, and deeply ingrained beliefs. People often equate financial success with personal success, creating a mindset that if you don’t have wealth, you must be failing in life. This societal emphasis on material wealth fosters an environment where individuals feel pressured to appear as though they “have it all together,” regardless of their actual financial situation. It's an imposter syndrome petrie dish!

The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say I can do whatever I want today. - Morgan Housel

The other side of the coin is no better. You can't take it with you. I deserve these shoes. I worked hard for it. Sound familiar? Housel's best chapter, in my opinion, is simply titled FREEDOM (Chapter 7). It's the most important lesson I drew from his book. We all have 24 hours in a day. What we get to do with it depends on how we think about money!

Housel writes that the stories we tell ourselves about money often lead to distorted mindsets. If we believe that wealth is the ultimate proof of success, we may constantly feel inadequate or unworthy, no matter how much we achieve. The gap between public perceptions and private anxieties fuel self-doubt and a need to keep up with those darn Joneses. Who the heck are these people anyway?

Rodgers, in We Should All Be Millionaires, takes a more direct approach to the social dynamics of money, particularly for women and marginalized communities. She argues that many people, especially women, have been conditioned to view wealth as something unattainable or inappropriate for them. As a result, they downplay their financial goals or achievements, feeling as though they are overstepping by wanting or earning more. This dynamic is a breeding ground for imposter syndrome, creating what Jon Acuff calls the soundtracks in our heads, referring to the stories we replay in our minds over and over again. We overthink and never get ahead, continuing internalized beliefs about money and our actual accomplishments.

The Intersection of Money and Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is driven by a fear of not belonging, and financial disparities often deepen that sense of alienation. In professional settings, discussions about salary, bonuses, or financial success can make individuals feel like outsiders if they earn less—or even if they earn more but don’t feel deserving. This is especially true for first-generation professionals or individuals who come from backgrounds with less financial privilege or financially successful role models. If all you know is how to live check to check then breaking that cycle is an uphill battle. It's attainable, but it's work!

The fact is that most women accept whatever salary they are offered, without saying a peep. Sixty percent of women never negotiate for higher pay, never ever, not even once in their entire career. If you are serious about building wealth, you must stop leaving money on the table. - Rachel Rodgers

Rodgers highlights how this discomfort is particularly acute for women, especially women of color, who face societal expectations to be modest and grateful rather than ambitious and financially empowered. This is one of the reasons why many women find it difficult to negotiate salary and benefits. This cultural conditioning can lead to a deep-seated belief that pursuing wealth is selfish or greedy, causing internal conflict and imposter syndrome when they start to succeed. On the flip side, individuals may also feel like imposters if they believe they haven’t achieved enough financially to live up to external expectations.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. - Seneca

Housel also argues there is some randomness to financial outcomes, arguing that wealth can sometimes be attributed to luck and timing rather than pure effort or skill. If success has an element of luck, then perhaps one’s achievements are unearned—a common thought among those struggling with imposter syndrome.

Changing the Paradigm: Reclaiming Your Worth Beyond Wealth

Both Housel and Rodgers offer insights and strategies for transforming our relationship with money and overcoming imposter syndrome.

1. Shift the Narrative Around Wealth: Housel emphasizes the importance of understanding that financial success is not always a reflection of personal worth. The key to shifting this paradigm is recognizing that money, while important, is not the sole measure of a person’s value or accomplishments. By separating financial status from self-worth, individuals can begin to reduce feelings of inadequacy.

2. Embrace Financial Empowerment: Rodgers urges her readers, especially women, to take control of their financial lives unapologetically. She suggests normalizing conversations about money and rejecting the idea that wealth is only for certain types of people. This shift in mindset can help individuals build confidence in their financial decisions and diminish feelings of being an imposter. Her rallying cry to see wealth as a tool for change—both personally and socially—encourages women to view their financial power as something that benefits everyone, rather than something they should feel guilty about.

One of her most important pieces of advice is to look at your money everyday, whether you have $2 in the bank or $2,000,000. If you are seeing the $2, she argues that you need to force yourself to say "Now what?" What can I change? How can I do better? If you have $2,000,000 you can begin to ask, how can I help? What can I do to better my community?

3. Acknowledge the Role of Luck, but Own Your Effort: While Housel highlights the role of randomness in financial outcomes, it’s crucial to own the effort, discipline, and smart decisions that lead to financial success. Imposter syndrome often thrives on minimizing achievements, so it’s important to acknowledge the hard work and skills that contributed to any financial gain. Recognizing both luck and effort can create a more balanced view of success.

4. Seek Community and Mentorship: Both authors suggest that connecting with others who have similar financial goals or experiences can help diminish feelings of isolation. Rodgers advocates for finding mentors or communities where financial success is normalized and celebrated, not stigmatized. Surrounding oneself with people who understand the challenges of building wealth can provide a supportive network that encourages growth rather than exacerbating self-doubt. She talks a lot about your inner circle and making decisions about who should be part of it. This advice isn't new. Remember when your mom used to say, "Tell me who you spend time with and I'll tell you who you are"? It's the same concept.

5. Develop Financial Literacy and Confidence: Housel and Rodgers both stress the importance of understanding money—not just in terms of managing it, but in terms of reframing the emotional and psychological weight it carries. Financial education can help demystify money, giving individuals the tools they need to feel confident in their financial decisions. When you know how money works, it becomes easier to see it as a tool rather than a reflection of your worth. And with today's access to information, it's easy to learn everything from the basics to more complex financial concepts.

Now what?

While money can be a source of empowerment it can also trigger imposter syndrome, especially when societal pressures, financial conditioning, and personal insecurities collide - those darn Joneses again! By reframing our relationship with money, as suggested by Morgan Housel and Rachel Rodgers, we can begin to dismantle the self-doubt that fuels imposter syndrome. Shifting the narrative from one of scarcity and unworthiness to one of empowerment and control allows us to redefine our financial lives on our own terms—without feeling like frauds in the process. It’s time to say goodbye to imposter syndrome and embrace financial confidence, knowing that our worth is not determined by our bank accounts, but by the value we bring to the world and our ability to control our most precious currency - time!

Kwesi Johnson

I help others remove the mask and show to the world ?? the real, imperfect, flawed, unique, and beautiful person they are. | Dare to Be Genuine

2 个月

About 20 years ago I read the book Secrets of the Millionare Mind by T Herb Eker. That book helped me unpack money and my paradigm around it which was shaped by my upbringing - the environment I grew up in and the way my mom talked about money. He calls it our “financial blueprint.” Thank you for sharing this article as it was a really good reminder to revisit my paradigms around money and realign them with my personal mission and not associate it with how I value myself or how I think others value me.

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