How My Dad Passing Away Changed the Way I Set and Achieve Goals

My dad passed away before even making it to his own retirement.

All he experienced in life was working grueling 10-12 hour days.?

When he got sick, he was diagnosed with a terminal neurodegenerative disease called Multiple Systems Atrophy, which started out looking like Parkinson’s Disease but then progresses very quicky and is diagnosed as terminal.?

Over the course of two years I watched him slowly and painfully wither away and eventually die before my eyes.?

He eventually became bed ridden, shortly after my wedding. One of the last times he walked was when he walked me down the isle.?

Up until this point in 2015, I lived my life in a pretty constant state of stress, anxiety and worry. I considered myself a sensitive person who was very overwhelmed by being sensitive.?

Sometimes my thoughts were so busy, if I tried to sit alone on the couch and be quiet, it felt as if my skin would start crawling.?

So I kept myself very busy as a distraction and would self medicate in the evening with drinking wine.

But everything changed when my dad passed away.?

Suddenly, the rest of my life felt like a gift.?

After watching him with away, I was amazed at how lucky I felt to still be here and to have a healthy body.?

I found myself asking myself, now what do I want to do with the rest of my life – this gift that I had been given??

I knew that I no longer wanted to live life in a constant state of stress, anxiety and worry, and that I need to learn how to better manage myself.?

I signed up for meditation classes with a local teacher and began learning how to observe negative emotions and not be consumed by them, how to quiet my busy mind, and how to be ok with getting quiet.

I learned how to access that space inside that every single person has that is always calm, peaceful and content and is available to connect to 24/7.?

Once I found that space, stress, anxiety, tension, feeling sensitive and overwhelmed, it all started to just wash away.?

I was absolutely amazed to find that every single person is capable of doing this too. There is no where for you to go to find it, (no need to travel to Asia to find yourself!), no certifications or books that need to bring it to you, and nothing to search for.?

It’s already here.?

Now I used to have it backwards.?

I used to think that I needed to accomplish goals, start a new habit, make more money, find the perfect career, find the perfect relationship, have a family, get a new house, etc. etc. to finally feel calm, content and peaceful.

But this is backwards.?

And it’s a fruitless search.

Because external circumstances will never bring a sense of happiness, calm, contentment, or peace; because it’s already inside.?

And by focusing externally, I was always searching and never feeling content and being in the present moment.?

This is a part of my story that I wanted to share with you to share why I do what I do.?

And that it’s possible for you, too.?

And so before setting another goal or new year’s resolution for this coming year, I invite you to notice what you’re wanting to accomplish with your new goal.?

Is it more happiness? Joy? Contentment? Or simply enjoying life more??

Because all of those experiences are available to you now.

And once you use that place as your starting line, life becomes a fun, easy, and creative exploration of unfolding into your best self.