Could you go 4 days without internet?

I did not set out to do a digital detox when I signed up for a retreat in Mongolia- the trip was to end a chapter of my working career and a way to clear my head. ?It was only as the trip got closer that I heard that the ger camp would not have internet or cellular reception.

This meant four days without contact with my husband and kids. I’m not sure I have ever gone that long without speaking to my husband, and definitely have not gone that long without speaking to the kids. After some reflection, I realized that my concern was more about me than them. ?With a supportive husband and live-in childcare, I knew everything at home would continue to be fine. You still have those voices, “Will they miss me? What kind of mother leaves their kids without contact for four days? How will they be when I get back?” ?So even though my taxes are past due and I have pending coffee introductions, and a course assignment - I knew it would all be there for me when I got back.

Meanwhile in Mongolia, as the van bumped along the long dirt road taking me further and further away from Ulaanbaatar, I watched as there were fewer and fewer reception bars on my phone. ?I still kept it handy to take photos. The first night at the camp, I carried my phone everywhere mostly out of habit but still checked it just in case there was some sneaky reception, but nothing!

I was meeting several of the others at the retreat for the first time.? As we dove into the retreat experiences, it was refreshing that no one looked at their phones.? Conversations that continued even though we could not google random questions, share photos or mimes. It seemed that as a group we became close quickly because it was just us, with no external distractions. ?The ability to be still, focus and be in the moment was so luxurious. ?

I was in a unique situation because there was nothing work related, I needed to monitor, I knew my family was safe and I was in a remote area in Mongolia surrounded by stunning outdoor scenery with a group of similar minded people.? While I did not miss emails or social media, I thought about my family each evening. ?I would record a quick video to share what I did that day and to let them know I was thinking of them. ?While I would not be able to send them until I had internet access again, taking these 2 minutes each night made me somehow still feel connected.

By the end of day two, I noticed that I left my phone in my ger.

By the end of day three, I had to find my phone to do the family message.

On day four, I realized I had not charged my phone all week.? It did not need it.

?Technology and tools such as social media are not evil, they are essential and enhance life in many ways.? The challenge is that the convenience can turn into an impulse to be available and engaged all/most of the time.? These impulses are so hard to control and for many are unconscious. Many of us have one device that includes all our personal and professional data. While simpler, it allows for even more distraction.

Returning to Ulaanbaatar - after another 4 hours on a bumpy dirt road - I was still relaxed, but ready for a proper shower. I knew there would be photos and videos of the kids, which is what I missed the most, but I paused before turning on the cellular function.?

It took time to get through what was mostly spam, but in less than 15 minutes I had all I needed.? My family was doing well and everything else would be there when I got home. ?

What did I notice after four days without internet?

-????????? I was more content, less frantic and noticed my breath a few times a day.

-????????? The impulse to check email and social media disappeared.

-????????? I was more open and relaxed with fellow travelers.

-????????? I read two books during that time; one of my favorite ways to spend time. I have not read two books all year!

Technology is an enabler of so many benefits, but the trip was a good reminder that it is a tool for me to decide how to use it. My presence is the biggest gift I have to give to my family and friends.