Could you be DISEMPOWERING yourself behind your own back?

We often seek help to build our confidence ... try techniques recommended in books, listen to podcasts. We push ourselves outside our comfort zone, try new things and maybe "feel the fear and do it anyway". Does any of this sound familiar? It is all great stuff.

Imagine, you are creating a perfectly serviceable vessel in one hand and then in the other hand punching holes in the same vessel. Have you, or are you doing this?

Here are five of the things we commonly do that effect our self belief and confidence that disempowers us.

1. Negative self talk

The conversations we have in our heads are the most influencing of our lives. Our mind thinks we want everything we think about ... but hang on a minute .... is that true? Do we want everything we think about? Have you ever observed the words and tones of your internal dialogue? You will have habitual internal dialogue that has become white noise and is navigating you. Then there's the voices you hear clearly in your head... like a conversation ... is that voice championing you to take action now, or stopping you in your tracks?

Quick Power Tip

Take some time and be the observer of your thoughts .... begin to notice the ones you have most often .... have you noticed what direction they lead towards? Now ask yourself, "is this thought smoothing the way or getting in the way?"

2. Blame

Looking to blame someone else for the position we are in ... reduces our openness to learning, slows down our growth and most destructively of all KEEPS US STUCK & BLOCKED and cements our own limitations safely in the locked and ready position, ready to use again. In short, progress cannot be made from giving up the reasons for failure onto a blame position.

Quick Power Tip

Ask yourself, what has this situation taught me? What did this situation give me permission to move on to? Why did I need this right now?

3. Crack jokes at our own expense

Gosh come on... at some point or another we have all done this, where we have said "it" about ourselves first before someone else does, but what happens in that moment is you have betrayed yourself, might sound a bit heavy BUT what if your closest friend took every opportunity publicly to put you down in a "only joking" manner would you not feel worn down ... small... fed up with it and at some point say .. "you know when you do that I know it's funny at the time but it does effect my confidence a bit?". The way you treat you is what you are demonstrating how you'd like other people to treat you, it's their short cut to learning the way you like to be treated.

Quick Power Tip

Knock putting yourself down in a joke on the head! NOW! you can share funny stories about yourself, but never betray yourself. You are worth dignity and respect start with giving it from yourself.

4. Worry about what other people think

Have you ever run your ideas, goals and dreams by someone else to see if they approve? We often allow someone elses actual opinions adjust what we want or dare to go for? Or worse still we assume what people will think then shrink or adjust our idea around our assumption, compromising on our dreams... for the fear of "what will people think?" or will people think I've got "above my station" or "I might fail and look stupid or be disappointed." When you run your ideas by someone else you will get what they would do.... NEWSFLASH they are not YOU.

Quick Power Tip

Your ideas are yours, your heart & mind created them for you, your life has prepared you for this dream. Build a vision board, get clear on what you truly want and why it matters to you.

5. Saying YES when we really want or need to say NO

Sometimes we want to please people, we want to help... or we don't want to offend someone... or we just don't know how to say "NO" comfortably. Maybe we've made a decision too quickly and should have thought about it. When we continually put other people before ourselves we become depleted, resentful, drained and lack lustre. Many of us have been brought up not to be SELFISH... but saying No to someone or something is SAYING YES to yourself.

Quick Power Tip

Give yourself space with "Let me think about that". Have 3 truthful different ways of saying "No" in your dialogue menu, e.g. "I'd love to help but I have this on right now". "Thanks but it's not my cuppa tea"..... And you can say your No clearly and with grace and gentleness.

I hope you have found these points helpful I would love to know your thoughts...

You might find this powerful course interesting ... take a look.

In my career no trainer has come close to being as life changing as Lisa. Sarah Hind Key Account Manager for Travelodge Hotels Limited

Lisa is highly motivating, engaging and a bit edgy, gaining huge respect from every participant. When it's all about mindset & radical performance change, Lisa is one of the best. David Taylor Chief Commercial Office IHG.

www.powerforsuccess.co.uk

Tel 07795 634 671

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