Could old wounds be holding you back?

Have you ever felt hard done by, made a mistake, felt foolish or embarrassed? Been given negative feedback or lost an argument? These things are natural occurrences through our careers – we’re human and tough stuff happens. Although we try to brush them off and forget them, they do leave us wounded.

These negative incidents, although painful at the time, do shape us in a positive way through the lessons we learn and the developments we take away from each experience. However, the pain and the memories do ‘wound’ us because our natural response is to take them personally and to dwell on them, building things up until the memory has even more pain and impact in our mind than the original incident itself. These incidents then hide away in our belief system and stop us from achieving more of what we want in our careers and out of our performance.

Identifying, naming and understanding that you have ‘wounds’ which you may still be unconsciously holding onto is important if you want to understand why sometimes you feel unconfident, procrastinate and overthink in certain situations. They need to be considered when we struggle with certain relationships and why sometimes despite our best intentions we simply can’t move forward with projects, ideas and in our career.

When working with clients in coaching, by identifying an incident which has caused pain we are not seeking to fix, analyse and judge ourselves on the past. We are not seeking to dwell on it or relive the wounding moment. We are simply seeking to spot it lurking in our mind. To understand and recognise that things which have happened previously can show up and limit us in some way in the present. That these incidents feed the mind monkey chatter which drives self doubt. Old 'wounds' influence what we believe in the present. They drive what we think and how we act. This is why it's important to reflect and recalibrate, to update your beliefs so that you are always open you to your full potential.

When you are still licking your ‘wounds’, whether consciously or unconsciously, you are in protection mode and are in the process of building yourself back up. You mind monkey will be telling you to all intents and purposes you are not ready yet to face similar situations, tasks and people. But you are ready. In fact, you are more than ready as you have gained a level of insight which has made you stronger in the face of the same and similar challenges right now and in the future.

It doesn’t have to been a big negative experience which ‘wounded’ us, the smallest things can be just as effective in leaving us scarred. Perhaps…

• The critical line manager who once uttered some harsh words around your writing abilities
• Dropping a cup of coffee the moment you started an important presentation
• Finding out someone has been talking about you behind your back
• Losing you temper under pressure and taking things out on your team
• Emailing an internal document to a client
• Having a painful new business call with a rude and impatient prospect
• Being over looked for a promotion
• Getting made redundant……

Awareness as always is a key self leadership foundation for success.

So, could old wounds be stopping you leading yourself effectively and achieving more in your career and performance each day? Reflect, reassess and move forward believing the past is the past and the future is yet to be defined.

If you are finding yourself stuck or unsure how to untap your best performing self contact Victoria at The Believe Consultancy to find out about different career and corporate coaching solutions which will help you achieve more.