Could NLP Help YOU Break the Cycle of Frustration Once and For All? (Part 1)

Maybe you’re not actually failing, but are there any parts of you life where you feel that no matter what you do, your outcomes don’t change as much as you’d like them to?

If so, read on…

Have you ever wondered how other people turn their lives around in what seems like an extraordinarily short amount of time?

Have you ever noticed how you and many of the people around you seem to keep running into the same obstacles over and over, never quite managing to break the cycle of frustration?

Many people believe that the road to personal change and achievement is…

TIME + IMMENSE EFFORT + WILLPOWER

Sadly, this often leads to frustration as they keep hitting the same roadblocks, or their close relatives.

What if instead this road were…

NEW TOOLS + NEW LEARNINGS + CONGRUENCY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GOAL?

The truth is, as Albert Einstein reputedly said: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” This means that you need to introduce something new if you want change, but it doesn’t mean that you have to wait for something new to magically appear in your life, it can also mean that you can take decisive action to control that novelty.

The following 3 stories illustrate the power of learning skills that help you create transformation within your existing circumstances. Your unique circumstances may be different, but the principles are just as true for you as for each of these people.

Can You Read What People Are Really Thinking?

Understanding what is going on inside people’s head often gives you the clues you need to inspire motivation and wholehearted participation from others.

Michelle knew that her colleagues weren’t telling her the real reason they wouldn’t support her proposals and kept sabotaging her initiatives, but she couldn’t work out what that reason was. In some ways it didn’t matter: she was the project leader and her team followed her instructions, but at the same time she knew how much more exciting and productive the whole team could be if she could understand and address their reservations. Her 13 year old daughter, Abby, was another matter altogether and Michelle didn’t know what she could do about that issue!

She had attended an NLP Practitioner training few months earlier and brought up her problem in a mentoring session with her coach one evening. Her coach reminded her of some of the tools she had already learned at her NLP Practitioner course and suddenly she realised what she had overlooked.

At the team meeting on the following day she tested her insight and the atmosphere shifted perceptibly. Throughout the following week when she met with her team members she noticed that their motivation was dramatically different and everyone was offering constructive ideas that solved the problems they were facing. They were no longer just executing her project, they had taken ownership for themselves.

In the weeks that followed, Michelle realised that she could see into other people’s minds and read their real responses. What’s more, by addressing their real concerns (rather than the ones they put forward) she helped them move from victim to overcomer.

At home, it didn’t take Michelle long to realise that Abby was developing a real sense of inferiority because of some incidents at school. The old Michelle might have gone to the school and complained. The new Michelle realised that she could empower her daughter by teaching her some of the tools she had learned. As a result of the insights Michelle gained, Abby was able to take control of her own thinking and become a positive influence within her class.

Habits and Phobias are Hard to Break… Unless You Have the Key!

Nathan was the owner and sales manager of a growing business. He weighed nearly 200kg and was terrified of flying. You might be wondering how fear of flying was such a problem for him and why he didn’t just go on a diet with his doctor’s supervision.

The first problem was that Nathan’s fear of flying meant that he couldn’t expand the business the way he wanted to. He could manage to travel all over the east coast of Australia to make sales presentations even though that meant a lot of driving, but it ruled out any clients in South Australia or Western Australia… and it wasted a lot of his time and energy. None of his other sales agents had the same level of credibility and success as he had so sending them in his place was almost a waste of time.

His weight was becoming a cause of concern to himself, his wife and his kids (as well as his doctor). He didn’t like the health problems that were starting to emerge or his lack of mobility, yet he couldn’t stop consuming Coca Cola and Maccas, because he liked the taste and just didn’t have enough will power to choose other options. In fact, they also gave him the energy he needed to sustain his mental and business activity and he couldn’t imagine how he would manage his schedule without them.

On Day 3 of NLP Practitioner, Nathan said that he wanted to give up Coca Cola and Maccas but he didn’t have that much will power so we used a simple technique to change his perception of these items into something he disliked intensely. Every night, he had been stopping at Maccas to buy his dinner before going home after training, and he did so that night. He bought his customary large Big Mac Meal with Coke and an extra burger and sat down at a table… He couldn’t eat them. The smell turned him off completely so he dumped the uneaten food in the bin and walked out. This meant that instead of focusing on what he didn’t want to eat, he had the mental bandwidth to think about healthier options.

The next morning he walked in and said, “That was amazing. Now I believe I can lose weight without relying on willpower. Can you help me overcome my fear of flying? I’ve got a presentation in Brisbane on Monday. I was going to drive, but if you think I can get rid of my phobia I’ll fly.”

I told him to buy his ticket.

On the last two days of the training we learned two simple techniques for overcoming phobias and focusing your thoughts with hypnosis. Nathan felt great about the flight, but he also realised that by Sunday night he was going to have to get on that plane no matter what, or he wouldn’t make the meeting. He called me from the departure lounge and told me he was doing fine, and that there was a lady next to him who was also terrified of flying, so I suggested that he use the techniques he had just learned to help her. Later that evening he called to say the flight had gone really well, and his new friend wanted to sign up for NLP Practitioner.

Six months later, Nathan weighed 95kgs (a good weight for his height) and had just received his Qantas Gold Membership card because of all the frequent flyer points he had earned through flying. His business had also expanded throughout Australia and into Asia.

From Feast-Famine Roller Coaster onto a Steady Path to Wealth and Success

Jonathan’s business provided his family with a decent income. He was meeting his expenses and was even able to afford to take everyone on holiday twice a year. The problem was that he couldn’t take a holiday. Sure, he went away with them, but at night or whenever he wasn’t needed to supervise he was busy on the phone or email dealing with staff and client crises.

There was usually plenty of cash in the business, but it was like a revolving door going in and out and always adding up to a bit over zero. Jonathan knew that if anything happened to him or if he got distracted, the business would be finished and his staff would all be unemployed.

He attended NLP Practitioner at the invitation of a friend whose colleague had been unable to come at the last minute… mostly out of curiosity. He walked in on the first day wondering if it really was going to be a good use of his time and left at the end of the day knowing it was. By the end of the week, Jonathan had not only discovered the fatal flaw in his thinking about the business that kept him on the feast-famine roller coaster but, he had also addressed it.

In the months that followed Jonathan’s personal transformation, his business was transformed as well. His sales (and his prices) were increasing by over 50% each quarter and his team members each took responsibility for their own performance. Meetings became more productive and goal-oriented and Jonathan found that he was doing more strategic thinking and planning and less day-to-day operations and crisis management. When his family took a 2-week vacation in Europe he was able to leave everything to others and returned to find that the business had continued to thrive without his attention.

Jonathan realised that they way he thought about money and success (thinking he had absorbed from his parents and teachers) had been at the root of his business troubles. They had taught him that the only route to money and success involved large amounts of will power, luck, hard work, and time… NLP taught him a different route, and testing it’s teachings proved that it really worked.

Applying New Tools + New Learning = Transformation

Each of these transformations happened because of a change in understanding that enabled people to act and think differently in the same old situations. One of the reasons I teach and use NLP techniques in my business is because they empower people to achieve the results they need. Some people say that NLP is manipulative, the reality is that NLP frees you from captivity and enables you to choose your own adventure.

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