The Cost of Motherhood

If you know me as the Give It To You Straight Career Coach, then this article's perspective won’t come as a surprise to you. Motherhood is a beautiful, rewarding, and life-changing journey. Blah blah blah.

Motherhood comes with its fair share of f#ckery, especially for working mothers.

Let’s start off with the “Badge of Honor” BS that our society seems to not let go of.

More than 120 nations provide paid maternity leave, but in the U.S. we get 0. To be fair, FLMA protects workers for 12 weeks of unpaid leave IF they qualify. Despite overwhelming research supporting paid leave, only 40% of U.S. companies offer some kind of paid maternity leave so many women are forced to return to the workforce asap...like a badge of honor.

Then there's the stuff before a baby ever comes that if we talk about it we're told "I (/my wife) did it so, so can you" by others who are conditioned to wear...weighing out a career over family, hustle culture that makes it difficult to find a quality life partner, miscarriages, geriatric pregnancy risks, swollen feet, morning sickness, weight gain, complications, sleep deprivation <incert awful things here>...like a badge of honor.

And then there are the challenges postpartum.

1. Lack of Family-Friendly Policies. From lack of sufficient paid parental leave and affordable childcare facilities, to flexible work arrangements, our society makes it difficult for mothers to stay in the workforce.
2. Professional Advancement and Representation. The World Economic Forum consistently highlights gender disparity due to biases against working mothers.
3. Wage Gap. Despite education, experience, and minuscule maternity leaves, mothers face a wage penalty.
4. Woke Culture. In a cancel culture world, women are no longer allowed to share their truths without it being offensive to someone else.

When I shared I was having a difficult time postpartum due to delivery nerve damage that left me unable to walk, I was told to "be grateful I was able to conceive because there are women who would die to be in my position". NEWS FLASH --- Discrediting someone’s feelings and guilting someone for other’s struggles make you an @ss hole. Based on the dozens of working mothers I work with every year, I’m not alone in feeling like I can’t openly share my experience without being shamed for something said.

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But let’s take it a step further and look at some data.

?Harvard Women & Public Policy found working mothers were rated

• 10% LOWER in competency.
• 12.1% LESS committed to their jobs.
• 6x LESS likely to be recommended for hire.
• 3x more likely to LOSE THEIR JOB during the pandemic.

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With August typically having the highest number of births, and having personally just delivered, I’d like to share this friendly reminder.

• ?Mothers show up with passion and are armed with grit.
• Mothers have impeccable patience, empathy, and leadership skills.
• Mothers are masters at putting out fires, being incredibly efficient with their time, and navigating chaos.
• Working mothers' skills and ambitions don't just go away after having a baby or even after an extended maternity leave ???

In conclusion,

Motherhood is hard. We are already shamed enough for admitting that. Don't make it harder for us to take a leave, return to the workplace, or discriminate against us because of unsubstantiated biases.

P.S. Add to the conversation by leaving a comment ??