The cost of ignoring negative self-talk in business and 5 ways to tackle this.

Having read many journals, reports and books on the topic, my own definition of self-talk is; 

“The statements that we say out loud or internally about ourselves to ourselves which impact our perception, motivation and performance” 

Some people will read this and roll their eyes; considering the concept a bit   ‘woo woo’ and ‘woolly’. Others will furrow their brow; fairly certain that they don’t actually experience self-talk and questioning how valuable this is as a topic. Some will instantly understand the relevance and power of self-talk; usually because they have struggled with self-sabotage, imposter syndrome or crippling self-doubt at some point in their life. 

I recently surveyed 262 people and asked them about the role their self-talk played in their job satisfaction and experience.

Of the statements generated during, 68% of them were negative in nature. It transpires that employees from a wide range of sectors are regularly telling themselves things such as “I’m not good enough” “I’m stupid” “I shouldn’t have said that” and a wide range of self-berating phrases. 

In addition, people reported not wanting to ask for support because it would ‘confirm’ they couldn’t do the job and many actively sought external reassurance that they were working well because they lacked the internal self-worth to recognise it themselves. 

What does this mean for a business or organisation? 

At best, it could translate into a team member who turns up and performs their task but never really pushes themselves to exceed expectations (client or colleague) and is happy to stay below the radar because their lack of self-belief holds them back from demonstrating anything other than their basic abilities. 

How would this affect team morale? How would your clients or customers feel in the hands of someone who doubts every aspect of their service? How much value will they add in terms of energy, innovation and dedication? 

At worst, crippling self-talk can manifest itself as mental health issues which has a direct impact on attendance, related staffing costs, team communication, team productivity and progress. 

We all know the saying that ‘one rotten apple spoils the barrel’ and may have experience ourselves of the one member of staff who is able to bring the vibe of a team down just with their lethargic or negative energy. 

I believe that it is crucial to team morale and performance that everyone is aware of their strengths and limitations (in an objective and not self-deprecating way), able to deliver their very best and feel comfortable asking for support to achieve that. 

There are some simple steps to identify and improve self-talk in your employees. 

Listen to the types of words that people are using 

If you hear an employee regularly call themselves like ‘ridiculous’ even in a joking way, chances are this is how they perceive themselves. The words people use externally tell us a lot about how they internalise the world around them. 

Challenge the statements they may be making 

“I’m such an idiot when it comes to data” may be a flippant comment you hear. One reply to address this is “I bet if I gave you ￡100, you could find an example of where you handled some data well? Then you’re not an idiot” Challenging these throw away comments are really important. The little things, create the big things. 

Create a culture where it is ok to be vulnerable 

Asking for support needs to be seen as a critical part of development and not a sign of weakness or failure and this belief needs to be celebrated within an organisation. How often do you congratulate your team for admitting they need a little help somewhere and in doing so, increasing their knowledge, skills set and self-confidence? What’s not to love? 

Make criticism professional and praise personal 

It is possible to deliver less than positive feedback without making it personal.

I received feedback while teaching training that challenged my pedagogy but didn’t crush my passion. Equally, I had an outstanding lesson observation with the only development point (with regard to my excessive energy with the children) of “be a little less Charlene”. That cut me deep and impacted my respect for leadership. 

Give people the skills and tools to be able to recognise their own limiting beliefs 

Finally, make employees aware of how important the things they say to themselves about themselves are and where possible, give them the time and support to do this. 

I said the steps were simple, but this doesn’t always mean easy. 

If you need any help at all, just get in touch.

I guarantee your staff will thank you for investing in them and ensuring that they can be the best people as well as employees that they can be.