The Cost for Cops

The numbers are down so far this year, thankfully...something I'm grieved to even know about on the top of my head. From January 1st to June 1st in most years, we usually see about four times the amount of officers killed by now. Most agree the stay-at-home orders due to Covid-19 have significantly impacted crime statistics. But either way, it's still a really, really hard job. And after the death of George Floyd in Minnesota and the consequent week of rioting across America, times like these make all of us question if we should even be doing it, or how long we can keep going.

I mean, why do this job of policing? The sum of all the training, all the drive and motivation to do good in the world, the right wrongs, to get in the way of evil, to protect the innocent and the vulnerable, often while being lovingly, quietly supported by many, but also loudly, slanderously harassed and hurt by many others....the sum is a lot of personal damage. It is the only certain thing that comes with this career. It's not like you get to just clock out and try again tomorrow...it all comes with you, from the smells and disease to the things stuck in your mind you wish you'd never seen. If you escape this career without major physical trauma, you are still guaranteed--promised--major emotional trauma, the kind that never really goes away. Maybe you can manage it, use it for some good. Maybe.

But it can still drive you to want to do good, to want to make some sort of positive difference in this beautiful, nutty, painfully conflicted society. You want to understand and empathize. You want to stop the cycles of violence and the fears of hopelessness. For those who honorably wear or have worn the badge, and have done so without major malfunction or prejudice or disdain, I can only donate my love and gratitude. I've needed you, too, more than once. Without you, without a strong, honorable, dedicated police force to maintain the beauty in our communities, the disastrous harm is nearly unimaginable.

Then it gets tarnished by someone. Again. So much so that people question if the entire idea of policing is fundamentally flawed. Or at least whether cops should be better trained--again--in their underlying deficiency, whether bias, tactics, or whatever. Round and round we go, never able to really touch and heal the root issues. And for the community represented in the victim of a criminal and tragic act committed by a police officer, it's never just that single incident.

Nobody signs up to be a police officer knowing they actually represent something intrinsically harmful to oppressed communities. Whether you are a young black man in Seattle or a young Latino dreamer in San Diego or a young Jew in 1939 Poland or a young displaced French Huguenot....the police officers in those times represented the arm of the law of oppression. Today, like in 1865 or 1965 or 1968 or 1996 America, blacks have equal rights under the law: but the history of oppression means categorically they do not have equal standing or opportunity since their starting point was adjusted before they even stood up. And they are certainly not given equal treatment in many, many situations, despite the effort of so many beautiful souls to make it better.

Cops are employees. It's a job, something people choose and compete hard to achieve. And while employers have a part to play, jobs are not capable of fixing racism. I shared a video earlier today which I'm sure will cause some of my colleagues to question where my head is. Well, here's where it is: my head is hurt, hurt on all sides. I've been too silent trying to figure out the "right" thing to say, not wanting to further divide or polarize an already politically polarized community. But the video taught me something important, something a co-worker tried to teach me years ago. For leaders, silence is not an option.

So whether you're a struggling member of an oppressed community, or the struggling member of the community that represents that oppression to some, all I can give you today is the leftovers. The leftover love and gratitude that has not yet been eaten away from this cop from his years of work in the human trenches of pain, conflict, and trauma. I still have lots of it to go around.

Many have sent personal notes of gratitude to my department lately, something that happens in supportive communities when cops face tumultuous times. Thank you for the love. We all need a whole bunch of that right now--not just the cops. All of us. Love. Lots of love.

Maybe that will help keep those numbers down.