The Cost of Being Unemployed, Single, And With No Family

I tried to build a business, after starting to study again at age 49. I gave everything. A large crowd come to the launch but nobody signed up. Then I tried absolutely everywhere - nothing whatsoever. Disillusioned, three grueling years later, I started a gift shop and supported suppliers and people in the community. I also tried to run workshops with skills that people had, but nobody signed up for the workshops. I eventually closed at a huge loss - gave away most of the goods I had purchased in order to sell and still sit with some items here where I stay. I then started the exhausting task of trying to find online students to teach English to. Eventually I managed to find a few that filled up a few hours a week. Now, I have reached a point again where there are no students. This has been the case for over six months now... it is completely soul-destroying. What can one do? Besides needing income, one need purpose and to feel that what one tries adds value. If nobody wants what you offer and ALL You have tried, how can a person cope with that on any level? I am exhausted beyond what I believed was possible and have experienced more rejection that I believed should be "allowed" in one lifetime.

My search was awful - daily rejections all day every day, including sunday really makes you wonder “is it me” (knowing it isn’t helps). Key things (financial) 1. talk to bank as i deferred mortgage payments for a year (options are pay all owed in lump, refinance house or sell). it gave me breathing room in case of surprise bill. i put mortgage money aside so in a year i could lump pay, 2. car insurance reduce to lowest drive mileage as likely not driving as much 3. talk to dr, dentist, etc to see what cash fees are if no insurance (surprise often less!). don’t skip yearly checkups (mental health) -paid for gym and went nearly everyday to workout, yoga meditation and be around people to feel normal -treated myself to lunch, spa or movie matinee on friday afternoon (discounts available) -limited linkedin use (didn’t do this at first) otherwise rabbit hole -cut out toxic positivity and folks who make things worse -find joy w/volunteering or a passion hobby hope this helps

Replying late(r) because I actually had to take a LI breather when I realized pushing myself was getting counterproductive. I'm fortunate in that I was able to move across the country to temporarily stay with a family member until I get things sorted, but it is far from ideal; I daily imagine what straits I'd be in if this hadn't been offered. I am also very fortunate that right before the pandemic, I'd started socializing online more since I couldn't afford to go out, and am able to lean on my online music friend groups for social connection. Allowing myself to take time for that and daily exercise outside of the house, as well as finally letting myself spend a tiny bit of time trying to learn a language I was interested in so I didn't feel like my entire life was on indefinite hold, have been my coping mechanisms. I still regularly wake up in the middle of the night completely stressed out, wondering if I'll be looking for a way to live out of my car at some point. I don't talk to people much about job search, as it seems like very few understand what it's really like even in a good year, let alone in the current market, and I don't want them to see that as my identity (even though it feels like it is right now).

I feel it's important to add that though you may have family and friends, sometimes the expectation and level of shame put upon you s so overbearing that it's almost not worth taking the help. As time goes on you're reminded, why didn't you save enough money for times like these, there must be something you're doing incorrectly that you are unable to find a job, or their situation is simply out of touch with what's going on in the market... the mental pressure is oppressive. You have to accept the help though is the reality but the mental exasperation is so real.