Core Memories: Create Them with Joy!

As I traveled with my family over the holiday, I drove through Alabama, where I lived briefly. I recalled attending football games to watch my son play. I saw one of the stores I managed and thought about my old team, and I stayed at the hotel I would visit frequently. All of this stemmed from core memories that I created over the years. It was a heck of an experience, and I smiled many times as I reflected on the past.

As I reflected on my core memories, I also had the opportunity to travel to Charleston, South Carolina, where my mother is from, and reflect on when I brought her back there for the first time in 30 years. This introspective journey allowed me to think about my past, present, and future and be diligent about making more core memories with my family. I encourage you to do the same, as it can be a profoundly engaging and reflective experience.

Let’s dive into this core memory thing a bit more.

What Are Core Memories and Why Are They Important?

Core memories are the building blocks of our identity. They are vivid, emotionally charged recollections that stand out from the everyday moments of our lives. These memories can come from significant life events like graduations, weddings, and the birth of a child or from smaller, intimate moments like a heartfelt conversation, a family vacation, a really good deep belly laugh, a job, or a personal achievement.

Dr. John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist, says, "The brain remembers emotional components better than any other aspect of an experience." This means our core memories, often tied to strong emotions, are more likely to stay with us and shape our worldview. Understanding this can enlighten us about our experiences and how they have shaped our perspectives.

How Are Core Memories Created?

Core memories are often created during emotionally charged experiences. This could be anything from the joy of achieving a personal milestone to the comfort of a family gathering. The key is the emotional intensity and the context in which these moments occur.

Here are a few ways to create core memories:

• Engage Fully: Be present in the moment. Put away distractions and immerse yourself in the experience.
• Connect Emotionally: Engage in activities that evoke strong positive emotions. Laughter, joy, and love are influential memory makers.
• Create Traditions: Regular activities, like holiday rituals or annual trips, can become cherished core memories over time.

Dealing with Bad Core Memories

Not all core memories are positive; sometimes, negative experiences can linger. However, learning how to cope with these memories is essential to move forward.

Dr. Brené Brown suggests, "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do." Acknowledge your feelings, seek support, and consider professional help if needed. Reframing negative experiences means looking at them from a unique perspective. For example, instead of focusing on the pain of a breakup, you could focus on the lessons learned or the personal growth from the experience. This can help deal with negative core memories.

Cherishing Happy Memories

Reflecting on and cherishing happy memories can enrich our lives. Here are some ways to keep those memories alive:

• Take Pictures: Photographs are visual reminders of memorable moments. They can transport you back in time and evoke the emotions you feel.
• Add Music to Events: Music has a unique way of connecting us to memories. Create playlists for special occasions.
• Record Videos: Videos capture images, sounds, and movements, making memories more vivid.
• Write in a Journal: Journaling allows you to express your thoughts and feelings and helps you remember the details of your experiences.
• Storytelling: Sharing your memories with others keeps them alive and creates a bond with your audience.

The Role of Social Media

Social media can be a fantastic tool for preserving and sharing memories. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram allow us to document our lives and reflect on past posts. They also provide a way to connect with others who share our memories. However, it's crucial to keep social media from consuming too much of your time. It's important to balance using social media to enhance our memories and being present in the moment to create new ones.

As behavioral scientist Steve Maraboli puts it, "Live authentically. Why would you continue to compromise something beautiful to create something fake?" Being present in the moment is often more impactful than capturing it for others to see.

Core memories are the essence of our life stories. They shape who we are and how we view the world. By being mindful and intentional about creating and cherishing these memories, we enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. So go ahead, make those core memories now!

Embrace every moment, cherish the happy times, learn from the difficult ones, and always strive to create new, meaningful memories. After all, these moments define our journey and shape our legacy (and our families, too). Cheers!