I disagree with my colleague/superior. What should I do? | Mental Maps #01

Regardless of your role within your organization, whether you're a sales associate, team manager, director, or junior marketing assistant, encountering disagreements or differences of opinion with colleagues, or even something your boss did, is inevitable.

Chances are, you've already faced such situations in the past, as disagreements happen at all times in a professional setting. The key lies in how you handle these moments.

But what should you do when you disagree with someone?

Through multiple mistakes and coaching, I learned the best way of approaching this situation.

Below I will teach you what I do when these situations come up.

Leave your ego at home

The primary cause of conflict I've observed in the past often stems from ego.

Analyze the following thoughts:

I could do this better than my boss

Look, he/she has no idea how to do that

I could do my boss’s job anytime

If you catch yourself saying these things, it's your ego talking.

Leave it at home.

Be humble.

I’d bet that your boss is better at her/his job than you think.

Build Relationships - Long-Term Thinking

Similar to financial investing, our approach is not about playing the short game.

If you're aiming to get rich quickly, more likely you are gambling, and luck tends to play a significant role in such endeavors. Sometimes in your favor, but many times not.

Our focus is on playing the long game — a well-thought, properly planned strategy that paves the way for success over 3, 5, or 10 years.

Begin by building positive relationships with your superiors, colleagues, and subordinates.

So, what does 'building relationships' mean? Let's compare these two examples to see which one sounds better.”

Example 1

Boss: Can you please get the marketing project done by next Thursday at 3pm?

Associate: Sure! Would you mind if we set up a meeting halfway through so I can understand any initial feedback?

Boss: Sounds good! How about Monday at 2pm?

Associate: Great! I’ll send you the invite

Example 2

Boss: Can you please get the marketing project done by next Thursday at 3pm?

Associate: I’m not sure I like this project. Maybe you could give it to my colleague Jimmy?

Boss: No problem.

Building relationships requires effort.

Means working hard.

It involves cultivating a positive rapport with both superiors and colleagues.

It's essential to remember that everyone is in the same boat, working towards the same organizational goals.

Establishing trust with your boss involves more than just completing tasks.

In Example 1, the associate not only agrees to the project but also suggests a collaborative meeting, showcasing a proactive and cooperative attitude.

This approach contributes to building a positive relationship, gaining trust, and fostering effective communication.

On the contrary, Example 2 reflects a less constructive approach.

The associate expresses reluctance without providing much context, showcases a passive approach, and suggests passing the project to a colleague, potentially hindering relationship-building efforts.

Remember, positive and proactive communication is key to building lasting professional relationships and earning your boss's trust.

When it's time to express a difference of opinion, having established a positive relationship with your boss increases the likelihood of being heard.

Cultivate these alliances, as they serve as a foundation for open communication and mutual respect.

Avoid head-on conflict

Engaging in direct conflict is often not the optimal choice.

For many individuals, a straightforward approach is not the most effective. Consider the following example

Imagine being in the manager's position:

Manager (M): Emily, I'll be leading the upcoming project.

Employee (E): I was hoping to lead. I've got the skills and experience.

M: I appreciate that, but I need to ensure the project aligns with our strategy. I will take the lead.

E: I disagree. I think I can lead effectively, and a collaborative approach would be more beneficial.

M: For now, I've decided to lead. Your input will still be considered."

In this example, Emily (E) confronts her manager directly.

Even if they had a good relationship before, Emily’s approach is too direct, which could potentially harm her relationship with the manager.

M: Emily, I've decided to take the lead on the upcoming project.

E: I appreciate that, and I value your experience. I was also eager to lead, but I'm fully on board with supporting you and contributing to the project.

M: Thank you, Emily. Your contributions are essential, and I'm glad to have your support.

E: Absolutely, I'll do my best to ensure the project's success under your leadership. Let me know how I can assist you.

Bottom line: Don't jeopardize your relationships.

Here are my two cents:

Before making a decision, always consider whether it might harm your relationship with the person involved.

If the answer is yes, think of a better way to approach the situation.