Coping Mechanisms: My Return to Work as a New Dad.

Becoming a Father has been an absolute whirlwind of emotions. In the short time my son has been in the world, I've felt a fear that I've never known and a love that I never thought possible. There have been sleepless nights and days filled with happiness. There have been a lot of nappy changes and surprising volumes of vomit. Overall, an unrivalled sense of warmth and wholeness fills every thought and action I now take.

Alongside this mixed bag of feelings comes the inevitable time I return to work and with that, the harsh reality of worry and sadness that comes with leaving my family behind. We all cope in different ways but there are a few things I have running on repeat in mind, a few things that I tell myself to make this transition as easy as it can be. Here's my list of coping mechanisms, maybe these thoughts will help you face the same challenge one day.

He is in Good Hands.

I left my son with the most capable person on this planet to give him everything he needs. His Mother is the most amazing, beautiful and gracious person I have ever met and I can trust that he will be safe with her. Not only does she love our boy with her whole heart but watching her become a mother has been something of a masterpiece to observe. Knowing how much she loves our son gives me the strength to be away from them.

He is a Happy Baby.

This kid is a real chiller. Seldom does he whinge or whine and he is so low maintenance that I wasn't prepared for how easy this stage of life would be. Maybe we are lucky to have a relaxed bub? Maybe we, as his parents, staying calm can contribute to this. Whatever the reason may be for his calm and happy demeanour, it helps to ease my mind and reassures me that he will be ok while I'm at the office and he can take care of his Mum for me.

I May Miss Milestones, but that's ok.

I am acutely aware that by being at work I may miss his first real smile, his first steps or his first words. This sucks, but it is the reality for many other Dads out there. Even though I may miss these momentous occasions his Mum won't, and I can rest easy knowing that she will immediately share such exciting events with me. Besides, I get to see them when I get home which somehow makes it feel just as special.

Work is Necessary.

It sounds bluntly obvious saying it aloud, but essentially I work so that he can live and so that my partner can have the most time with him as humanly possible. This in itself is a hugely important role and a role that I take on with enthusiasm and pride. The bonus of spending some time away from him also means that the time I am home is even more meaningful and helps me to be grateful for the time I got to spend with him as a newborn. Plus more money means more room for activities when he's older and I am so stoked to be able to share a whole bunch of new experiences with my new best mate.

My Partner and I have a Great Support Network.

Our friends and family during this wild and exciting time have been amazing. They've helped us do the grocery shopping and cooked some meals for us. They brought Mum and I some sweet treats and celebrated the happiest days of our lives alongside us. Even though I'm back at work, I know my partner has helping hands close by and can call on them at any moment. I'm super grateful for the sense of security that provides for me and them.

They are All the Motivation I Need.

I have always worked hard. Even in my early days, I've tried to give each of my roles the maximum amount of effort I can to ensure that I create a meaningful and positive impact on the people I work with and for. That has just been taken to the next level. Not only do I try to continuously impress my partner every day but now we have brought a beautiful little boy into the world my efforts are in overdrive. I work so that they can thrive.

I Want My Boy to be Proud of Me.

It is a little bit morbid to admit, but when I finally kick the bucket I want my son to know that I gave everything to ensure his safety and his happiness. That mission started well before he was born and will continue every day until my curtain call. I am a role model for him, and my actions, subtle or extravagant, will set the tone for how he sees the world. I put my heart into what I do and aim to show respect for how I spend my time so that he can learn to genuinely care for his place in the world and whatever things he chooses to do in his time.

Conclusion

My partner and I have embarked on this crazy journey together. I have always been thankful to share life with her and together we will give our son the best possible start in life. Part of that is returning to the workforce. Despite it being one of the hardest days in my recent history, it will all be worth it in the long run. These thoughts have helped me come to terms with being a working parent and having to step away from my young family. I know that many of you out there have had to experience the same doubts and sense of guilt, but you're not alone. As for those of you yet to dive into the deep end of parenthood, I hope that these ideas offer you some help in tackling this for yourself.