Coping With Isolation

So the first week, maybe even second week of lock down is now over. The sun has been shining and for many people it has been like an enforced holiday, but what if we all have to stay indoors and remain locked down for several more weeks? The novelty of an enforced holiday may soon pass. Are you unsure about how to cope with loneliness during the coronavirus pandemic? You could be self-isolating because you've caught the infection, or you could have decided to stay indoors for a variety of other reasons.

Whether you are locked down due to suspected exposure, staying at home because you are in a high-risk category, or at home to help prevent the spread of infection, you may find yourself unprepared for this situation. People who are chronically ill may be familiar with what it's like to face long periods of time alone at home, but most of us are used to getting out daily; even those who are retired or don't work usually make trips to run errands or visit friends. To have all of that stop suddenly can be difficult to deal with!

The key to success to coping with this situation is to redefine it as something positive. Yes, I know that sounds strange, people are dying and the health system and the economic system globally is under more pressure than most of us have ever experienced in our lifetime, so where are the positives? Please don’t think I am making light of this situation, I am definitely not, of course some people will suffer emotionally, physically and financially, the situation for so many is heartbreaking. BUT there are always some positives to come out of everything and whilst acknowledging how difficult life is for many people, and supporting them as much as we can, it is also important to believe that positives will come out of even the Coronavirus. 

To start with, due to fewer planes flying, cruise ships sailing and vehicles on the road, pollution has decreased and apparently, even from space, parts of the world can now be seen that previously due to pollution could not be seen. This helps not only the environment but many people’s chronic health issues. Families have been forced into a situation where they will spend more time together, many parents and children will stand to benefit from this. Workers who experience the pressure of being on the never ending treadmill have now been forced to slow down temporarily and stay at home, even if they are still working there is, for many, more time to take a breath. Communities, as frequently happens in a crisis, are reconnecting and our society may well become kinder. We can but hope. Researchers throughout the world are collaborating and sharing information and techniques in order to find a way to beat the virus. These techniques will not only help beat the Coronavirus but will help to beat viruses in the future. For the first time in my lifetime, the world seems to be pulling together and supporting each other. There is good in every situation if we can give ourselves permission to look for it and we have never needed this permission more than now.

Good mental health involves acknowledging the reality of a situation but also looking for the positives in it.

So What Can You Do To Protect Yourself?

Whilst it is important that you stay up to date with current advice and information, it is equally important not to spend too much time watching endless news reports, this is especially true if you know you are inclined towards anxiety and/ or depression. 

It is also important to take care of your mental health during times of decreased social interactions. But how do you do this? 

Firstly accept that it is perfectly normal to feel stress when faced with staying indoors and interacting less with people, especially when that is added to the underlying stress of worrying whether you will catch the virus or you have financial concerns. Human beings are social animals, most of us enjoy time on our own but we also enjoy the company of others. When John Donne wrote “No Man is an Island”, he was so right.

Social distancing requires us to avoid large gatherings of people, staying a minimum of two metres distance from others in public, and only going out of the house for essentials. This is alien to most people, we just do not live this way and it can make people feel anxious, frightened and suspicious of others. You might also feel stigmatized if you are isolated because you've contracted the virus or you suspect you may have contracted the virus. Someone said to me the other day, “ I coughed and everyone within a few yards of me stared at me suspiciously, I felt like a criminal!”

 So we know the best course of action is to stay at home but home can for many be a lonely place. 

So, what is the best way to get through this period of isolation? 

There are many strategies that you can employ to ensure your well-being and good mental health. Most of these involve either finding ways to distract yourself or finding ways to maintain social contacts, to stay in touch with friends and family. 

Distraction works to help you avoid thinking about everything that is wrong, which is a risk factor for becoming depressed. Finding strategies to distract yourself can help to keep your mood on a healthy level. In contrast, staying social in non-traditional ways can help you to feel less isolated and beat feelings of loneliness.

If you are unable to leave your home or interact socially with many people, you might be wondering what you can do. Below are some ideas about how to manage your feelings of loneliness in a positive and productive way.

Keep to a Routine

Routine is extremely important, it is like a skeleton in a body, it gives our lives shape, it supports us. Many people find change and unpredictability difficult to cope with, we need to feel secure, we don’t like what we don’t know.....that’s why nostalgia is so popular! We need routine!

Even if you are isolated at home, try to keep to a regular routine as much as possible. While loneliness can feel like it will never end, trying to make these days feel as "normal" as possible will help you to get through.

Start each day with a plan of a few things that you will do, keep a daily diary about how you are feeling and what you are doing. 

One of the biggest causes of anxiety and depression is feeling that we have lost control of our lives. Be proactive. Take control of your time in lock down!

Stay Informed

As previously stated, whilst you do not want to feed your anxiety and fear through constant updates about the state of the virus, keeping up to date on the latest advice and health information may give you an edge when it comes to protecting your mental health and maybe even reduce the impact of loneliness. BUT do limit your media consumption. Watching too much news, reading too many articles, and consuming too much content can be overwhelming. You might decide to check the news twice a day. Or you might decide to limit your time on social media if everyone is talking about the virus. Make sure you seek out sites that give factual information about what you can do to stay healthy and about the situation regarding the status of the virus. I’m afraid there is a lot of rumour and incorrect information on social media and the internet, don’t allow yourself to be brought down by misinformation! 

Stay Active

While it's easy to focus exclusively on how to manage your mental health and loneliness during this situation, don’t forget that physical and mental health are delicately intertwined.

If you spend several days in isolation not getting any exercise, this will have a detrimental effect on your ability to cope mentally. Below are some ideas of activities that you can keep doing to stay active even when you are confined to your home.

• If you have access to the internet look on YouTube for exercise videos, there are loads of them! 
• If you are able to, try to go outside for a walk 
• If you have one, do some gardening or take yourself outside for some fresh air. 

Do Something Meaningful

We all need to feel our life has a purpose, that we are contributing or doing something purposeful. Without this our lives lack meaning and this can lead to depression and a loss of self; in other words why we are here and what our place is in the world.

All of us want to feel like we belong and that our life has importance, which is why incorporating meaningful activities into each day is important. Doing something meaningful each day, even if only for a short period, will give you a sense of purpose and identity. Of course I can’t tell you what will give your life meaning, only you know the answer to that, but below are some ideas to get you thinking:

• Sign up for an online course and do a bit of work each day
• Create a family tree using genealogy websites
• Sign up to be an online volunteer

Connect With Others

Perhaps the best thing you can do to combat loneliness during this period of isolation is to connect with others in non-traditional ways. While you may not be able to visit with family and friends in person, that does not mean that you cannot connect.

Family & Friends

If you are comfortable using technology, there are numerous ways you can stay in touch. If you prefer more traditional ways of communicating, there are still options for you. Below are some ideas to stay in touch with your loved ones.

• Send a handwritten letter or postcard
• Call someone on the telephone (particularly on days you are feeling lonely)
• Place calls using video chat services like FaceTime
• Post on social media or respond to other's posts on social media e.g. FaceBook
• Stay in touch by texting or instant messenger

Online

In addition to staying in touch with family and friends, you can also combat loneliness by participating in online exchanges with other people around the world. These don't need to necessarily be your online "friends," but rather those with whom you share something in common and you communicate online.

Below are some examples of online connections that you can make.

• Joining and participating in FaceBook groups about topics you are interested in
• Signing up for online forums about your hobbies or interests
• Joining and playing Multiplayer games such as Wordfeud
• Signing up for online sports games like Fantasy Football
• Download some games you can play on your own like: The Chase, Eggheads, Countdown, Spider (card games) Peak ( memory and speed games to keep your memory alert), Tipping Point, Wordalot, Wordtrek. 
• Make up your own music library using Spotify.

Find Sources of Comfort

Finding ways to self comfort even when you are feeling lonely can help to improve your mental health. 

• Give yourself a foot massage with a foot spa or simply soak your feet in a bowl of warm soapy water! 
• Take a bath
• Focus on your pet
• Cook healthy comfort food
• Watch favourite TV shows or read favourite books
• Have a cup of herbal tea (chamomile will help you to relax)
• Have an indulgent hot chocolate with marshmallows on the top!
• Light scented candles (lavender will help to reduce stress)
• Practice sleep hygiene to make sure you are getting enough rest
• Listen to some music or the radio and treat yourself to a box or chocolates! 

Create Something

Expressing yourself through creative means can be cathartic, whether it involves painting, writing, dancing, singing, playing an instrument, embroidery, knitting, crochet, pottery, woodwork, gardening or building something with LEGO! 

Sometimes it is difficult to find the words to express ourselves and creating something is an outlet for expressing those feelings. Below are some suggested projects that you might like to try.

Writing Projects

• Practice writing in a journal each day
• Take up hand lettering or calligraphy
• Start a daily blog journaling your experiences for others to read
• Write poetry 
• Write short stories or start the novel you've always wanted to write
• Write your life story
• Write a recipe book of your favorite recipes

Art Projects

• Complete a paint-by-number project
• Start a needlework, knitting, or crochet project
• Compile a photo album that you can share later with others
• Work on an adult colouring book
• Take up a new hobby like jewellry making
• Take up origami
• Make some Easter decorations 

Home Projects

• Choose a room in your home and redecorate by moving things around or moving things from other rooms
• If you have paint in your shed, paint walls and woodwork, painting can be very relaxing.
• Grow some seeds - flowers or vegetables
• Do a thorough Spring clean, the sort you always mean to do but never have time to do! 
• Tidy out some cupboards
• Reorganize your wardrobes, 
• Clean your windows
• Clean your car so that it looks like new, well nearly new! 

 If you're having trouble coming up with projects, focus on the ones that you can do with what you already have on hand. Obviously all the shops apart from food shops are closed just now, but most of us will have access to a notebook, paper, printer, and access to the Internet.

Using those few basic tools, you're sure to find something online to get you started. You could even focus on culinary arts and focus on cooking or baking projects.

Other Ideas......

• Go back and re-read some of your favourite childhood books
• Join an online book club 
• Download magazines from the library
• Give yourself a reading challenge by choosing a list of books you've always wanted to read or a list based on theme (e.g., books all set in places you've always wanted to visit)
• Read books of poetry if you find it too hard to concentrate on longer books
• Read magazines on topics that interest you
• Listen to audiobooks through services like Audible or Scribd if you struggle to read or have vision problems
• Watch TV/Movies
• Watch TED talks on Youtube about topics that interest you
• Watch a series of movies on a theme (comedy movies will help to ease your stress)
• Watch a television series on iPlayer
• Watch documentaries on topics you've wanted to catch on
• Listen to podcasts on topics you like
• Create or Listen to Music
• Go back and listen to your favourite songs from when you were a teenager
• Create a playlist of happy songs and listen to those
• Practice an instrument such as the piano or guitar
• Take a virtual tour: Many museums offer digital access to their collections including the Louvre and Guggenheim www.mentalfloss.com 
• Play games that engage your mind such as Sudoku, crossword puzzles, solitaire, or online chess.
• Work on a new you! Now is the time to work on the ‘make over’, lose weight, get fit, change your style, so that when the isolation period ends you emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis and surprise your friends and colleagues who haven’t seen you for a while! 

Learn Something New

Why not use the time to learn about something using a short online course. These can often be completed in a couple of weeks and require you to spend a couple of hours a day doing them. www.futurelearn.com has a wide range of short courses to choose from.

Plan for the Future

While it might feel like this loneliness will last forever, there will come a time that you'll be back to your usual routines. One way to feel less alone now is to make plans for the future, or do things that help you to focus on the future. Focusing on the future is a positive thing to do and provides us with daydreams and an escape from the present. Below are some ideas.

• Make a "future list" of all the things you want to do
• Order online and plant some spring bulbs
• Plan a fun event for when you are out of isolation
• Make a bucket list of things to do in your lifetime
• Make a "goals" list for some area of your life
• Plan a holiday in detail.

Practice Self Compassion

Most importantly, practice self-compassion during this difficult time. It is OK to be concerned, it is OK to feel frustrated or angry or tearful. If you are still struggling and anxious try practicing guided meditation or progressive relaxation, which you can find on Youtube.

Accept your feelings for what they are knowing that they are temporary and will pass. 

Show Compassion to Others

It might seem counterintuitive, but if you are struggling yourself, sometimes offering help to others who are feeling lonely can make you feel less lonely yourself. Make a phone call, send a text, send a letter, or comment on someone's social media posts. Be supportive and offer words of encouragement. Remember, we are social beings, we need each other! 

Coping as an Older Adult

Older adults may be particularly susceptible to loneliness during coronavirus. This group is most likely to self-isolate due to fear of infection, while also potentially having fewer supports in place to feel less lonely.

If you are an older adult you can stave off loneliness during this time in the following ways:

• Make phone calls to relatives on a regular schedule, so that they can check in with you and learn about your needs
• Ask for help from family members when you need it and be specific about how they can help. They want to help, they need to help, don’t deny them the privilege.
• Check to see if your community offers specific shopping hours for seniors so that you can shop for food during low-risk times when absolutely necessary.

Whatever your age or circumstances, if you find yourself with very poor mental health whilst isolated during coronavirus or indeed at any time, and you are unable to pull yourself out of feelings of anxiety, depression, or fear, it is important to reach out for help. Consider calling a crisis line or an online therapy service to find out about options. While it's normal to feel afraid and lonely at a time like this, worsening mental health could indicate the need for outside help.

Remember, this time will pass, life will eventually return to normal, maybe even a new, better normal. Make this time positive for yourself. 

We can’t change the situation, but we can change our attitude to it! 

By Dr Corral Smith