Coping with Grief

Hi Everyone,

My apologies. It's been quite a while since I had the presence of mind to write a newsletter. For the last six weeks or so, the only thing I have been capable of doing on #LinkedIn is sharing posts about #Israel or #neurodiversity. But now, slowly, I am beginning to focus and process my thoughts and emotions clearly enough to share them with you.

On June 23, the 17 of the Hebrew month of Sivan, my mother, blessed be her memory, passed away after suffering from a fall that resulted in a severe head injury. During the following weeks, her situation slowly deteriorated until she passed away nearly a month later.

Due to my cerebrospinal fluid leak from my brain surgery eleven years ago, I was unable to fly to America to be with my family throughout this difficult time.

Fortunately, today's technology enabled me to be "virtually present" throughout her hospital stay and, eventually, her funeral. However, virtual presence does not resemble real-life experiences in these situations.

Sitting Shiva* far from most of the people who knew and loved her was a strange and difficult experience. Rather than hearing and sharing memories and stories about her life with others, I was telling them to others. It was both a lonely and unusual experience.

Her passing, alongside the ongoing and perhaps escalating war in Israel, was completely overwhelming. I felt as if I was in a daze and somewhat emotionally paralyzed.

A few weeks have passed since I finished sitting Shiva, and I have finally begun to process my emotions and organize my thoughts.

As the fog began to lift, words started to flow from my mind in jumbled and rambling prose that followed no rules or laws but somehow reflected my state of mind. I have decided to share them with you, as they are, in loving memory of my mother, Sheila Shulamit bat Hinda, z"l.

I hope you will find them meaningful.

*Shiva: In Judaism, a person mourning stays at home for a week, grieving, and family and friends visit to pay their condolences.

Long Distance Grief

For many years,

I lived with an underlying feeling of anticipation

That, perhaps,

When I called you,

You would have the strength and health

To pick up the phone.

?

Or that suddenly,

Out of the blue

You would reach out to me

To speak about the things you loved

Or share your thoughts on life.

?

Over the years,

We did our best

To stay in touch.

But sometimes,

Perhaps when things got too hard

I found myself waiting for weeks-

or months

Contemplating how you were.

?

As time went by

I learned to adjust

To living in a perpetual state

Of waiting, communicating, and anticipating

The days

When we were finally able

To meet on common ground.

?

But now

There is no more need to wait

Because I know

The only place I will hear your voice

Is deep within the realms Of my imagination.

?

May G-d bless you with eternal peace, Mom.

And may you know no more pain or sorrow.

?

I hope you're finally at rest now

Reunited with those you cared for

And lost.

And that you're surrounded by deep love, beauty,

And grace.

?

Thank you for all you did for us throughout our lives.

I know You always did your best

To care for us all.

?

I also hope that somehow,

Over the years,

You were able to understand

And maybe even forgive me

For listening to my soul

And moving to Israel So many years ago.

?

Perhaps, if I am lucky

One day soon

You will surprise me

And visit me in my dreams

To share with me

All those unfinished thoughts

You took with you

To a world Far truer than ours.

?

But until then, please know,

We will miss you

more than you ever imagined

It would be so.

?

And I give you my word

We will always try our best

To carry on and thrive,

Care for one another,

And bring a lot of good

Into this broken and painful world.

Thank you for taking the time to read these words. I wish you all good health, happiness, peace, and prosperity, and may G-d fill your wishes in the best manner for you.

Take good care, Jacki

#grief #sadness #bereavement #memorial #shiva #Israel #war #loss #mourning #forgiveness

***If you'd like to learn more about my book, read my blog, and sign up for my mailing list, I invite you to visit my website, https://www.jackisbooks.com/ . I also invite you to forward this newsletter to anyone who you feel will find it insightful and empowering.

If you have additional inquiries or want to book my presentation, "A Journey into the World of Neurodiversity," please email me at [email protected] .