Coping with Grief at Christmas | Mental Health Article | Dr Sumi Ratnam.

The festive season, often synonymous with joy and celebration, can be an exceptionally challenging time for those grappling with bereavement and loss.

Whether you have experienced a bereavement or are navigating complex emotions due to the loss of a relationship or friendship, this particular time of year (or other significant birthday or celebration throughout the year) has a way of amplifying these feelings.

Understanding that grief doesn't take a holiday, we explore ways to cope with the impact during this time of year with Dr Sumi Ratnam , Consultant Forensic Psychiatrist at Schoen Clinic Chelsea .

The unique challenges of grief during the festive season:

Grief, in response to loss, manifests differently in each individual.

Whether mourning the passing of a family member, the end of a relationship, or other significant life changes, the holiday season can trigger a range of emotions. Shock, overwhelming sadness, fatigue, anger, guilt and loneliness are common companions during this time.

Recognising that there is no "right" way to feel, it's essential to acknowledge and honour your emotions.

5 tips for navigating grief during the Christmas season

1. Planning with sensitivity.As the festive season approaches, considering your plans and envisioning how you'd like to spend this time can offer a sense of grounding.However, there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Feeling pressured to adhere to traditional celebrations isn't necessary.Instead, aim for a Christmas that feels comfortable to you, granting yourself the liberty to adjust traditions or create new ones aligned with your emotional needs.
2. Managing emotional energy.Grief encompasses various emotions, from profound sadness to fleeting moments of joy.Understand that these emotions consume energy. Allow yourself breaks amidst the hustle, whether it's a solitary walk, quiet moments with a cup of tea, or personal reflections through journaling.Try to avoid overextending yourself and refrain from feeling guilty about things you think you should be doing. Recognise that it's okay not to be okay during this period.
3. Open communication and setting boundaries.Engaging in open conversations with loved ones about your feelings and plans for the holidays can foster a supportive environment.Sharing your wishes and boundaries allows others to offer sensitive support tailored to your grief.
4. Adapting traditions.Many holiday traditions may hold memories intertwined with the person you're grieving.While some might feel too painful to continue, exploring ways to adapt or create new traditions can be a healing process.Consider starting fresh traditions like crafting a memory ornament, lighting a candle in their honour or making a donation to a cherished charity they supported.
5. Coping with the first Christmas after loss.Your first Christmas or significant date like a birthday or anniversary following a loss can be particularly challenging.Unpredictable emotions and a mix of old memories and new realities may surface. Grant yourself the grace of taking each day as it comes.Understand that it's okay not to have all the answers or to feel differently each day. Allow yourself the freedom to prioritise self-care and put your needs first during this time.

Guidance moving forward

As you navigate grief during Christmas, remember to set realistic targets, channel energy into positive endeavours, and avoid relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or substance use.

Most importantly, understand that you are not alone—many individuals experience grief during the holiday season, and support is available.

By acknowledging your emotions, seeking support, and embracing self-care, you can find a path through grief during the holidays. While the journey may be challenging, it's an opportunity for personal growth, resilience, and finding light even in the midst of loss.

This is an abridged version of an article developed with and reviewed by Dr Sumi Ratnam , Consultant Forensic Psychiatrist at Schoen Clinic Chelsea on 12th December 2023. Read the full article here.

With nearly 30 years of experience, Dr Ratnam specialises in providing expert care to adults with mental health conditions. She has a particular interest in women's mental health but also offers specialised mental health support and treatment for men.

Get in touch with the team at Schoen Clinic Chelsea today.