Coping with COVID-19 through the lens of the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief

The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown many curve balls and impacted all of us in different ways. No one was prepared to deal with this virus, and we are all facing different challenges, struggles and interruptions. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross postulated the various stages of feelings people experience when dealing with loss or life changes that bring on a sense of loss, better known as the Kübler-Ross Five Stages of Grief. Recently, the Women in Networking (WIN) North America virtual chapter applied this change model to what we are experiencing through the unprecedented crisis of COVID-19.

The group held a session in which members shared their challenges and emotions during the pandemic and how they are coping with the event. The members then shared what their new normal looks like, the activities or hobbies they do to stay energized during quarantine, and what they learned from their experiences. Throughout the session, many members expressed how well the different stages of grief articulate what we all are feeling and how we can relate to the same experiences. 

Different stages of grief experienced by people through the COVID-19 pandemic.

Shock, denial, frustration and depression

The COVID-19 event hit many of us by surprise in many ways, particularly in terms of how the crisis is impacting everyone globally. It can even seem like we are living in a movie. There are some areas that have not been as impacted as others, but in different ways, most of us are going through a brief period of disbelief or finding it hard to accept reality.

This pandemic has caused many frustrations due to the disruptions and challenges we now face. It is preventing us from doing the things we enjoy most, such as being able to see family and friends. Other important milestones and life events, like graduations, are cancelled. Most parents are finding themselves having to balance caring for their children, home schooling and working at the same time. Even the most essential activities such as buying food and groceries has become an inconvenience. The list goes on and on. Many of the WIN members shared their struggles and challenges in the virtual chapter meeting, and as one member said, “It’s good to know we are not alone in all of these feelings and challenges.”

Because of how frustrated we are, at some point we might enter the stage of depression. It’s normal to bounce back and forth between these different feelings, but we don’t want to be stuck in these stages, particularly, the depression stage. If you find yourself in this stage, try to engage in healthy habits and stay busy with activities. Try things like going for a walk while practicing social distancing, taking an online fitness class, or reaching out to friends and family online or by phone. If you ever feel you need help, reach out and talk to someone.

Experiment and decision

At these stages, we find new ways to adjust and accept the new reality. For example, we adopt new work and family schedules. We find new ways to connect with family and friends, and new ways to stay active, healthy, and sane while practicing social distancing.

The WIN Americas virtual chapter members shared many new experiences that they enjoy during the pandemic such as exercises, being able to see the green grass and enjoying the spring weather while working from home, having more family time, drawing and coloring, and working on home projects. 

The new normal

What does your new work-life-integration look like? The group shared best practices for a successful remote work experience, especially for parents with young children. Jeanne Quirk, senior vice president of Mergers and Acquisitions and the executive sponsor for WIN, encouraged employees to review the Workplace Flexibility Guidelines. She also encouraged members to speak to their managers about what work-life-integration should look like for them, as every situation is going to be different depending on the employee’s role.

Members also shared what they learned from coping with COVID-19, especially the changes that have made a positive impact that they want to integrate permanently. They also shared the things they miss, such as not being able to travel and going out to restaurants like we used to.

While for the foreseeable future, everything might not return to the way they were, we hope that correlating the Kübler-Ross Five Stages of Grief helps put things into perspective in that what we are experiencing are normal feelings as part of any change, especially for a pandemic that is impacting every aspect of our lives. Remember, we are all in this together. As we are adjusting to the new normal, take time out of your day to enjoy the simple things in life, create new experiences and memories, and most importantly, stay safe and healthy.