Cooler Heads Prevail

“May you live in interesting times.”

For those not familiar, this an old saying ironically used as more of a curse (its exact origins vary depending on the source). It means that instead of enjoying the benefits of peace and posterity, you should endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes in tumultuous, uncertain times.

At the risk of repeating myself (again), a proposal career can sometimes be defined as “feast or famine” work, where a proposal pusher feels as if they’re watching paint dry while babysitting an email inbox, or so busy that months are like weeks, weeks become days, days become minutes, and hours become seconds (and proposal managers become prone to hyperbole).

I’ve been down in the trenches during perfect storms of too many proposals and not enough of me to go around, just trying to keep my head above water as business developers get excited about more late-and-breaking government solicitations that must be chased after. Worse, just one proposal effort can test one’s resolve, complete with the trials of coordinating team members, tracking progress on countless proposal requirements, and desperately not losing your sanity. Imagine trying to do all that with multiple proposal efforts on your plate (those of a more delicate sensibility shouldn’t…I can’t emphasize this enough). Plus, there’s the added wrinkle of the government releasing amendments and modifications that can make even the smoothest running proposal effort fly right off the tracks with batshit Q&A responses, changed requirements, or contradictory updates.

When I was younger, a tad na?ve, and a much more optimistic proposal pusher, I felt the pressure of all those forces and surprises pile up on me. Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling into the wee hours of the morning, I would repeatedly review the day, its share of crises, and how I could’ve handled them better. Or worse, worked myself up with more layers of anxiety over what could happen the next day. Not that I don’t still have moments of “what the fuck?” during stressful times, but being a battle-hardened proposal expert has taught me how best to manage those challenges (e.g., exercise, meditation, alcohol, murder sprees).

Though I never broke down into tears or curled up in a fetal position, I admit there are some proposal efforts – mostly from my earlier years, but a few more recent – that tested my resolve and composure. As someone who spent his high school and college years not managing his emotions very well, I can tell you how reassuring it is when upper management compliments me on my keeping calm and carrying on. As a proposal manager, your job is to maintain a steady course and work the problems, where losing your shit on a status call or falling apart in a conference room demonstrates a serious lack of self-control and professionalism. Any project or mission requires whomever is running the show to be a beacon of calm and reason, even in the worst of times. And I’m saying this as someone who has seen executives and other C-suite types go into apeshit temper tantrums that rival my daughter’s, crumble to the floor in front of me, or tear me a new one because…well…sometimes one needs a reminder of their place in the corporate hierarchy (whether or not it’s deserved…okay…probably deserved…).

As a matter of experience and temperament, I try to apply my keeping calm when life throws a few unwelcome surprises in terms of bigger and larger events. For example, 2016 and the several years following truly tested that part of me. The year began with my being told that I’d be a father before my next birthday, I landed a job that would have a seismic impact on my career, and a certain someone won the White House. The years that immediately followed resulted in volatile and unyielding waves of surprise, stress, and even outrage as what was said and done often rivaled anything you’d read in even the worst pulp fiction novels. Not to mention world events we endured felt more like ones only read about in history books (i.e., Did that really happen back then? How on Earth did people deal with it?).

Today, we find ourselves back in a world defined by how high our high blood pressure will rise when reading the news headlines, wondering what the next outrageous this-can’t-be-happening story or latest erupting crisis will be. Stability is a quaint notion again and the best we can do is brace ourselves for the next wave of wild and crazy news cycles. And one may argue that what’s happening today (and expected to happen as time marches forward) may be even more complicated, disruptive, and life-altering than before. I’m rarely an alarmist about world events, but even I’m having trouble keeping my worries at bay.

But as we watch events unfold, it’s hard to stomach when you know people who are or will be affected by what’s going on. People forced out of their jobs with little or no warning, the elemental cogs and wheels of government being ripped apart, friends and family further being ostracized and/or losing their basic rights and dignity just for who they are, and so many denied the dream of a better life because the authorities are relentlessly hunting them.

All of this is enough to make anyone stop and wonder just what’s going on and how we got here…or worse, when the powers that be will finally impact our own lives. Societies thrive when there’s stability, but when the road gets bumpy, stress, emotions, and self-control can bubble up and boil over. It’s hard enough to watch others suffer, but the anticipation of not knowing what’s next or when it’ll hit you like a ton of bricks can be nearly unbearable. It’s times like these when resolve breaks, tempers flare, and bad things happen as knowledge and wisdom get trampled over in the process.

It's easy to let the headlines spark anger, fear, and other darker emotions. Living in the fog of uncertainty or surrendering to despair may begin to feel like the new normal. There’s another old adage I keep in mind – someone who’s convinced that they’re going to die will find a way to make it happen. And while I’m saying this from the relative safety of someone who hasn’t been directly affected by world events, it’s still important to not over react or succumb to panic as a tsunami of current events rolls toward you. While I’m confident that many who call the shots, pull the strings, or otherwise man the helm aren’t working in most people’s best interests, it’s when things get rough that we need to remind ourselves that as bad as things are, they will pass. I fear for those who are dramatically affected by what’s going on, even at the risk or their lives and families, and hope that they’ll survive and endure to see better times. And there’s little pleading for peace or clinging to hope can do when protestors devolve into an angry mob.

I remember going to three overwhelmed grocery stores in one day as COVID-19 became a worldwide pandemic seemingly overnight, and was in a Target store as the news hit about angry people breaking into the Capitol. Both times, the reality of just how bad things had become began to sink in, and I admit part of me thought about packing up my family and running to the hills to ride out those crises. But both times society eventually rebound back to some level of calm and normalcy. It may have taken longer to get there, and never truly all went away, but we got back to some semblance of routine. Sadly, the results of those years linger and carry on, and in some cases, people’s lives were changed forever. And now, we’re looking at a time where we may need to endure bad things and suffer the sometime ruthlessly terrible outcomes of those forces.

But in the meantime, it’s important to be smart, be calm, and not over react or cave to our darker predilections. Those saying and doing the seemingly outrageous and contemptable are also loving the attention. In a twisted cycle, the louder and livelier that people respond in protest, the more those polarizing figures crank up the rhetoric and pressure, basking their never satiated egos in the warmth of everyone’s attention.

In my line of work, it’s easy to over react, stress out, and have a shit fit. But a smart and capable proposal pusher will absorb the changes, assess, and figure out a path forward. And more importantly, maintain a calm demeanor for the rest of the team while pressing on. I’m not trying to compare the almost trivial aspects of proposal management to what those who are being detained, abused, or put at dire risk are experiencing. Far from it. But for those of us watching events unfold and seeing others hurt or ruined, over reacting and adding to the chaos isn’t a viable option. We need to take it all in, process it, and find constructive ways to address and work the problems.

I know that’s easier said than done, especially when your ass isn’t on the line (yet), but what’s the alternative if we don’t try?