Convocation Wisdom...2 Truths and a Lie

I had the absolute pleasure on June 17th, 2019 to address almost 600 graduates of Ryerson University, along with another couple of thousand guests. A daunting challenge but so rewarding. A couple of folks have asked for my speech, so I've put it here!

Chancellor Fukakusa, President Lachemi, Provost Benarroch (BEN-ar-osh), Deans, members of the graduating class, your families, friends, honoured guests (added 'and Raptors fans' since it was parade day). It is my absolute pleasure to be with you today.

This is a celebration of what you have achieved, and an opportunity to reflect on the future and what that might hold.  I was very honoured to be asked to share some of my own thoughts, to impart some wisdom and advice as you transition to the next stage of your journey.  

But I was also somewhat intimidated by the notion, and I’ve discovered that seeking out my own lessons learned in preparation for this speech is not unlike therapy - discovering the themes in my own life in the hope that it may be resonant in yours. And so I won’t give you any answers – because I am still searching for answers. But I will share some framing that has been helpful to me in that search.

And so in the next 6 minutes or so I’d like to play 2 truths and a lie.  I assume everyone knows how to play this game - I will give 3 statements, and you need to guess which one is a lie. 

Here we go:

1. What you believe about the world can anchor your ambition and open up opportunity.

2. In order to focus your efforts and drive success, you should have a clear destination and plan.

3. The small things you do most days can change the world.

Do you have an idea which one is the lie? Let’s find out.  

The first is a truth. 

What you believe about the world can anchor your ambition and open up opportunity.

The mindset that you choose to develop is critical.  A mindset is your belief about yourself and how you see the world. Are you an optimist? Are you confident? Do you believe people generally have goodwill? You don’t need to answer yes to all of these by the way.  

As an example, a recent New York Times article on confidence showed that people were largely over confident about things that were easy and familiar, and under confident about things that were hard or unfamiliar. I should say - the one exception to this was that men tended to be overconfident that they could win in a zombie apocalypse.  Women, interestingly, were less sure.  

The implication here though is that you should attempt to do the hard and unfamiliar things, even if you aren’t confident all the time. Don’t wait to be sure before you start.

In my own life this has certainly been true – Objectively, I have never been fully qualified to do any of the roles I have been fortunate to have. I had lots of worries that I would fail.  But I was also confident in my ability to learn and figure things out - and that combination of worry and confidence to learn helped me to succeed and go after the big things.

Optimism on the other hand can be a gift - and there is significant research that shows optimistic people are healthier, happier and have better life outcomes.  Believing there is opportunity, that people are generally good, supports a number of positive behaviours like persevering through obstacles to attain goals. Being optimistic also helps manage stress, which you will most definitely have.  Of course, too much optimism and you fail to sense risk - and you might believe you can defeat zombies.  

The best news though is that optimism isn’t who you are - it is what you do. So if you behave like an optimist, you can change your mindset. You can choose.

This has been a constant in my life - and is obviously related to confidence. Regardless of adversity I believed I could persevere and be successful. 

Many people don’t know I was a teen mom. There was a lot about that experience that made me unsure of myself, and the stigma around young single moms is real. But even so, I felt like I would still be able to go to university, have a career, be someone my parents would be proud of.  So yes - what you believe about the world CAN anchor your ambition and drive opportunity.  

The second - In order to focus your efforts and drive success, you should have a clear destination and plan.

A lie. At least in my experience. The world is changing too quickly to have a 10 year plan, and getting too specific on goals and objectives may limit the opportunity to what you currently are aware of.  

Instead, I love the idea of AGILE VISION - have a plan, but hold it lightly, keep open to new circumstances, listen for insights and create some white space for possibility. I look at my own path, which I would describe as non linear, and it only makes sense in hindsight. 

I started as a community health advocate, transitioned to government philanthropy, and now I find myself in banking, although I actually spend the banks money rather than make it, helping the bank create social and environmental good. I would not have planned that.  

But in hindsight I can see that I did have a vision - I wanted to have a leadership role, I wanted to lead change that mattered - I wanted to have enough money and status to prove I wasn’t a failure. Obviously some of these ideals were more lofty than others.  But they were effective in allowing me to chart my own unique path in things that were a bit out of my comfort zone.  And each twist and turn has benefited my career and my growth professionally.  

So much so, that when people ask me what I will do next, I am happy to say I have no idea but am excited to find out. So throw out the detailed plan, craft an aspirational vision and be open to how you get there. Let curiosity guide you.

The last and third statement, is of course a truth - The small things you do most days can change the world.  

I spent a lot of my life trying to figure out the big thing - asking myself, What is my Purpose? How can I have impact and make the world a better place? What do I exist to do? Seeking the answers to these questions has driven my ambition and my inspiration. And what I have figured out so far is that it isn’t about me and what I think I deserve. It’s not a big ‘aha’ that you get that transforms your life. In fact, I reject the notion of having one ‘purpose’.  

There is an author and speaker, Emily Esfahani Smith, who said in her TED talk,  “The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others”.

I love the simplicity and accessibility of that notion. In fact, it is what has brought meaning and happiness to my life and I hope to those around me.  It has helped me to feel a part of something bigger than myself.  

You can choose things to do every day to make it happen. Be the best parent, child, friend, boss, colleague, family member. Help others feel a sense of belonging. Give your time and resources to things you care about. Smile at a stranger. Practice relentless incrementalism.

The issues that we face in our world are bigger and more complex than ever, but they aren’t so big that you don’t matter.

Our everyday pursuits are like compound interest, every bit counts and growth is exponential.  

And the more people that do small things – the greater the impact. Each of you have agency to make choices that can make a difference. Don’t wait for the big thing to start.

That is a big truth – and now it is yours. What will you do today?  How can you contribute to an optimistic future, open to possibility, changing the world?

I will end with those questions. Congratulations and thank you for letting me share your celebration with you today.