Is it conviction or "False Guilt"?

That is a question that many empaths need to come to grips with.

In my 13 years of counseling and coaching, I've noticed a pattern with my clients and prospects.

Your vast capacity for others can become the bane of your existence.

How does this happen?

There is a term in wellness spaces dubbed "auto-accommodation"

Auto-accomodation has its origins in the tech world.

By definition Auto-accommodating typically refers to a system or technology that adjusts or adapts itself automatically to meet the needs or preferences of users without requiring manual intervention.

From a psychological standpoint this manifests itself in automatically meeting needs or preferences without requiring enough intel from family, friends, co-workers, managers, teammates to make an informed decision.

These snap decisions are often rooted in both fear, anxiety and false guilt

"When there is a narrative of dire consequences, you must be aware that your projection onto others will position you at the whim of their will."

You are naturally a giver, so the willingness to extend comes as a second nature. However, lengthy seasons of auto - accommodating will eventually lead to resentment and burnout.

Here are 3 tips I recommend:

1. Understand that "Their urgency is not your emergency"?? - Don't be afraid to ask some questions and get needed information prior to making an informed decision. It may not require your involvement at all
2. Understand your own unique psychology - The narratives you received as a child will inform your reactions to certain stimuli and triggers as an adult. When you understand the root causes of your subconscious mind, you are empowered to pause and make decisions from a place of peace instead of panic
3. Be willing to disrupt the natural patterns of dealing with people - However, please understand that this will take time in the early stages of recovery.

This is a primer of the indepth work I do with clients, but we must be willing to start somewhere.

Whenever I see the words "STOP" in a social media quote, I cringe.

People don't typically stop behavior that has become a second nature, these common patterns must be addressed at the root

When we do the deep work, we get sustainable and lasting results.

Want more inspiration?

Make sure to listen to past & future episodes of the Listen Then Speak Podcast for more content!

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About the Author:

Jahmaal Marshall is a Counselor, Consultant, Public Speaker and Podcast host whose work has been featured in Time Square, Foureva Media, and Canvas Rebel. He is the Founder & CEO of Listen Then Speak, LLC where he helps CEOs, Managers and teams tackle burnout and isolate root causes of behavior to maximize productivity.?He also hosts the Top 25% ranked Podcast, Listen Then Speak.