Convert your "What If?" into "So What!"

Self doubts and limiting belief often hold individuals back from achieving their best self. Even the successful individuals can feel like a failure at times.?

I am a Military Doctor and a surgery trainee in my day job. I have coached a few Doctors in the past. It seems very un-natural for these doctors who are very intelligent, clever and highly #successful to be having self-doubts and feeling like a #failure. However, it's very important to recognise that these individuals are also surrounded by 100s of other very intelligent Doctors and allied health professionals. With time, this can take its toll on anyone's self-beliefs. ?

The way I dealt with it was to remind myself and others about the origin of self-doubts. Self-doubt comes from #fear and fear come from the sympathetic response (flight, fight and freeze). It's only natural to feel #fearful if someone/something is threatening an individual's identity. ?

I managed to break down the fears into smaller chunks and discuss them individually. ?

The big question people have in their mind is "WHAT IF?".?

What if I fail?... What if people don't like my #idea?... What If the boss is not interested?... What if I don't get promoted?... What is He/she doesn't like me?...?

As a #Coach, I aim to convert that "What if?" into "So What?". ?

So, what should I do If I fail first #attempt?... So, what can I add to or deduct from my idea?... So, What do I need to do to ensure that I get promoted?... etc etc etc.?

Once the #coachee starts to ask, "So What", they start to recognise the results/consequences of it. We can then plan "How to overcome the #challenges" and "How to deal with the results/consequences". The individuals #confidence level shoots up naturally. ?

Successful people, like everyone else, have #self-#doubts. I believe there is a misconception that once someone achieves #success, they are free of insecurity and self-doubt. That is not true at all. People are insecure and have self-doubt at every level. The only difference is how they deal with it, physically and mentally, which shows them as a #confident #leader in adverse situations. ?

Don't be afraid of your fears, we are genetically designed to be fearful. When humans lived in the caves, "Fear" was part of their mechanism of survival. The cave man/woman kept the fear of other dangerous animals in their mind so that they were always vigilant. They always had a self-doubt that an animal will attack them and kill them. That fear has given rise to so many inventions e.g., fire, early weapons, living in shelter, security provision etc etc. The cave man used their fears and self-doubts to evolve. We are the result of that evolution. The commitment that the cave man had to #evolve has resulted in a complex, intelligent and secure societal approach to living in villages/cities/homes etc. We must have that #committment in our life today to #grow further. ?

Self-doubt holds people from growing and #progressing. They hold back from putting themselves out there because they don't want to deal with the discomfort that comes with each new evolution. They try to hide behind the confident individuals. And OfCourse the confident individual who has overcome their fears and self-doubt will progress even further. ?

Once the individual has found their fears, the next step is to find the obstacles that are associated with that fear. What is the obstacle that is causing this fear and self-doubt? and furthermore what is your opinion of each of those #obstacles? When I am truly asking is; what is your thinking about those obstacles? How many of you have felt, that I am never going to get a high salary job? Or how many of you have felt that I never going to be able quit smoking or eat healthy or lose weight etc? That opinion is breeding self-doubt. If your opinion is, "Yes, there is an obstacle and yes I will face and I will understand it and YES, I WILL MAKE A PLAN TO #OVERCOME IT!! I will have compassion for it, and I will not act on it, I will be in control of my mind and my feelings and my actions." That will breed commitment and #determination to accomplish whatever it is you want to #accomplish. ?

Consider whatever it is that you truly desire. Now, as soon as you start #daydreaming about it and thinking about having it, your brain will go into self-doubt mode. Those thoughts will arise. Don't be perplexed. Write them down because they are just #thoughts. What are your initial thoughts? Make a note of them. Each and every single one of them, analyse them and make a #plan to overcome those self-doubts. You'll be amazed how much self-doubt you can eliminate just by analysing it properly.?

#selfdoubt #selfawareness #selfgrowth #coaching #mentoring #mindset?#burnout?#transformation #determination #success #failure #challenge #confidence #resilience