Controlling Impulses as a Parent

Hitting a child on the side of the head is not just a momentary act—it’s something that can have lasting consequences, ones that we may not even see immediately. The brain is a delicate, intricate structure, constantly growing and adapting, especially in childhood. Within it, the middle and inferior temporal gyri play essential roles in how we understand language, recognize faces, and retrieve memories. These are not just abstract functions; they define how we interact with the world and with others. A strike to this area, even if unintended to cause harm, can disrupt these fundamental processes in ways that can alter a child’s development forever.

Science has shown us that damage to the temporal lobes can lead to conditions like aphasia—where language and comprehension become difficult—or agnosia, the inability to recognize familiar faces and objects. When a child’s developing brain experiences trauma, whether from a single incident or repeated occurrences, the consequences may surface as memory difficulties, trouble processing sensory information, or even an increased risk of cognitive disorders like Alzheimer’s later in life. The connection is undeniable, and yet, physical punishment remains an accepted practice in many households.

There have been cases where patients with damage to these brain regions could still recall locations and objects but lost the ability to name or recognize the people around them. This isn’t just theoretical—it’s a reality backed by research. Studies have linked abnormalities in the middle and inferior temporal gyri to conditions like schizophrenia, where language and perception are distorted. Others have found that neural degeneration in these areas correlates with the memory loss experienced in Alzheimer’s disease. The brain, once injured, does not always recover in the way we hope, and in a child, these injuries can shape their entire future.

Beyond the science, the emotional and psychological toll of physical punishment is profound. Fear, anxiety, and insecurity take root, growing into long-term struggles with self-worth, relationships, and emotional regulation. Some children internalize the violence, leading to withdrawal and depression. Others externalize it, continuing the cycle in their own relationships, believing that force is a natural response to conflict. In either case, we have to ask ourselves—what are we really teaching when we strike a child? Discipline should be about guidance, about nurturing understanding and growth. There are ways to teach, to correct, to encourage better behavior without resorting to harm. A developing brain, still finding its way in the world, deserves protection, not punishment.

The evidence is clear: striking a child’s head is not just an act of discipline—it’s a risk, one that comes at too great a cost. Instead of relying on outdated and damaging methods, we must shift toward understanding, patience, and the science-backed approaches that truly support a child’s growth. What we do today shapes their tomorrow, and the choice is ours to make.