Control is an illusion

Well, this is how I was going to die, I thought, as the adrenaline started to spike throughout my body. I suppressed a nervous laugh, because it seemed kind of inappropriate. And, I actually had a chance to influence whether or not we would meet an untimely, and yet truly spectacular, death.

We hurtled towards the top of the overpass at the “High 5” in Dallas, merging from one highway to the other.

We weren’t turning fast enough to keep from hitting the retaining wall… My foot reflexively pressed through the floor, shockingly, to no avail… 

For you see, dear reader, I was in the passenger seat.

And at the wheel was Jack, my 16 year-old stepson.

His first (ahem, “our” first) attempt at such a solo maneuver.

What a funny way to die: as a passenger teaching our 16 year-old how to drive.

“UH,…. JACK,” as I tried to keep the panic in my voice to a moderate (yet not too moderate level) “I think you need to turn a bit more…” as I barely choked out the last few words before I blacked out from stress…

“OK…. I got it,” Jack said, not so matter-of-factly, in an all too unconvincing tone. (I think as much to provide a bit of “in the moment” encouragement.)

Spheres of influence and spheres of control.

We control far less than we imagine, or hope to imagine. At work, at home, in life. 

Heck, I don’t even control my dogs. (My wife will quickly point out that I most certainly don’t control the dogs. They control me.) But that’s besides the point, I think…

Count on people. Let them surprise you. They will pull through. Or maybe they won’t.

You weren’t in control anyway, remember?

Hold on a little less hard…and enjoy the ride.

Don’t panic. We survived, in case you didn’t know.*

* I literally got goose bumps a few times as I wrote this. The event is seared into my brains “fight or flight” response system. Apparently, my brain wants to remind me that this “event” was a bad idea. Nah…