Control to Confidence: How letting go can empower your true self

Sometimes, our need for control can show up in ways we don’t immediately recognize, especially when we're feeling stressed, focused solely on results or maintaining order. This negative mindset stems from a deep-seated fear of chaos or lack of control and can sabotage our success and happiness overcompensating by exerting excessive control over our environment, situations, or people.

Consider the following questions:

1.?????? Do you often feel the need to manage every detail of a situation to ensure it turns out the way you want?

2.?????? Do you experience significant anxiety when faced with uncertainty or situations beyond your control?

3.?????? Do you find it challenging to delegate tasks because you’re concerned others won’t meet your standards?

4.?????? Do you often feel impatient with others if they aren’t working as quickly or efficiently as you’d like?

5.?????? Do you prefer sticking to a fixed way of doing things, even when flexibility might be beneficial?

6.?????? In group settings, do you tend to dominate conversations or decision-making processes by pushing your own ideas or agenda?

7.?????? In your personal relationships, do you find yourself trying to control the behavior, choices, or emotions of others to maintain order?

8.?????? Are you more concerned with achieving the desired outcome than with enjoying the process?

If you answered YES to more than 2 of these questions, you might have an unrecognized need for control over yourself, others and situations which may in turn hinder performance, positivity and most importantly limit your self-confidence. ?

For each question you answered with a YES, below is a deeper dive into the possible reasons behind the YES.? As you read through these, you may discover subtle ways control might be influencing your actions and how shifting your mindset can lead to greater confidence and less stress.

#1 Micromanaging reflects a lack of confidence in others and in the process itself. True confidence allows ??you to trust that others can deliver results without your constant oversight.

#2 The Controller’s anxiety reflects a lack of belief in their own ability to adapt. Confidence involves being comfortable with uncertainty and trusting yourself to handle whatever comes your way.

#3 A lack of delegation shows a lack of confidence in both yourself (to lead effectively) and others (to carry out tasks). Confident individuals trust their teams and know they can guide them without doing everything themselves.

#4 Impatience shows a fear that things won’t happen as you expect, revealing underlying insecurities. Patience comes from confidence—knowing that others can contribute in their own time and way.

#5 Rigidity comes from fear of losing control or not knowing how to adapt. Confidence allows for flexibility, trusting that you can adjust to different circumstances.

#6 Dominating conversations can signal insecurity, as if only your ideas are valid. Confident people listen and value diverse perspectives, trusting that collaboration leads to better outcomes.

#7 In relationships, confident individuals trust others to make their own decisions. Overbearing behavior often comes from a fear of being out of control or abandoned, signaling insecurity.

#8 Focusing solely on outcomes suggests fear that things won’t turn out as expected, hinting at self-doubt. Confidence comes from trusting the process and enjoying the journey, rather than needing immediate results.

I am a Confidence Coach and Speaker helping people filter their inner voice to increase visibility and resilience so they can be more confident in their work and life.

Interested in learning more about what could be sabotaging you? Take the Positive Intelligence? assessment below to learn what Saboteurs are derailing you and connect with me to learn how to filter them! ?