Continuation | 2018 in Review and 2019 Goals

When looking back on how the year went, I smile. I smile because for the most part, 2018 was filled with activities focused around my priorities: health, relationships, experiences and growth (personal and professional.) I'm proud of myself because I didn't get here by accident. I got here by doing the work to understand what makes me happy (self-discovery and reflection) and choosing to live a life that focuses on those things while neglecting the others.

This year, I won the Real Estate Board of New York's Most Promising Commercial Salesperson award in March, was featured in Commercial Observer's annual 30 Under 30 list in October, and had by far my best year financially. I got into triathlons and completed two of them, borrowing my dad's old road bike and taking swim lessons in a random bathtub-like pool in a bike store once a week for the first few months of the year. Deciding to complete a triathlon created new experiences for me, such as training with a beginner class of triathletes and meeting new people that way, biking over the George Washington Bridge to Piermont and even to Peekskill where, after 60 miles, my friend and I stumbled upon Peekskill Brewery, drank beers and ate veggie burgers, and took our bikes back on Metro North to New York City. That was fun and memorable.  

After the NYC triathlon in July, I switched back into running training and completed the Chicago Marathon as well as the New York City Marathon with my dad this fall. Both of those experiences were a blast. I'm fortunate a great group of friends were willing to come to Chicago with me that weekend to watch me run and spend time together in what was a new city for many us. Expanding on travel, I went to Croatia in May with four friends which was one of the best vacations I have ever been on. The combination of the weather, activities, food but most importantly the crew made it something I will always revere. I've also hit the age where my first friends are starting to get married, and as a result of that, had weddings in Minneapolis, Cabo, Newport and Washington DC which although the travel was a bit much at times, was overall fun. 

Of course, the year was not all gravy. I felt that I got away from myself this summer and that I was drifting. After that feeling, I read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck which in addition to my willingness to get my shit together by my standards, provided an eye opening way to orient to challenges. It led me to believe that there's no place in life where I'm ever "stuck," and that I have the power, with effort, to always work towards better solutions. Frustrated with anxious feelings in certain business meetings, I researched a therapist to learn strategies to better deal with anxious thoughts. Talking with him has allowed me to identity distorted thinking patterns and better understand myself which is what I'm after because I believe there's huge power in self awareness. This learning and work on myself aligns with my value of lifelong growth. I've already benefited tremendously from only a few sessions and have noticed my capabilities improve in situations where I was previously anxious.

Ok, so onto 2019.

My biggest goal of 2019 is becoming more free, of caring less with others think and being mindful of a tendency I have to crave approval / please people. I recently posted this article by Byron Wien of Blackstone on lessons he's learned in his first 80 years of life. In it, he writes, "Younger people are naturally insecure and tend to overplay their accomplishments. Most people don’t become comfortable with who they are until they’re in their 40’s. By that time they can underplay their achievements and become a nicer, more likeable person. Try to get to that point as soon as you can." My goal is to get there as fast as possible, and by continuing the process of self-discovery I believe that I will.

Similarly, my other 2019 goals are less about completing specific tasks and more on continuing my journey. They're process driven rather than accomplishment driven. For running, I want to do the Berlin Marathon next September (I recently signed up and will be raising money for Autism Speaks, here is my personal fundraising page), and possibly an ultramarathon at some point. I'm currently looking for a friend to sign up and train for an ultramarathon with, so if you are interested, please get in touch. 

Next, I want to continue doing headspace and practicing meditation. I now try to do 15 minutes every morning but notice that sometimes I do the exercise and then live a very busy and non-mindful life the second I get off the couch. I'm still trying to figure out how to weave in meditative moments into a busy job and active life, but I do believe that the compounding benefits of meditating daily is a long-term positive, even if some days become a blur. 

In terms of relationships, I want to continue doing my invented "What Fun Things Will I do with my Friends" exercise. While I absolutely expanded my network this year and met some really interesting people personally and professionally, I noticed that I did not give as much effort to keeping alive the relationships with my closest friends. This was because of incorrect thinking that "they'll always be there." While that may be true from an underlying love perspective, the truth is that all relationships need nurturing and one cannot take any for granted. Next year, while doing this exercise, I will spend more time thinking of ways to see and spend quality time with my closest friends because at the end of the day, they're the most important - life truly wouldn't be the same without them. 

For my career, I want to make it a daily goal to add 45 minutes worth of canvassing into my schedule. Just 45 minutes a day. I can do it. This is an example of a small change that will yield major rewards. Back to that Byron Wien piece, he writes, "At the beginning of every year think of ways you can do your job better than you have ever done it before. Write them down and look at what you have set out for yourself when the year is over." 45 minutes of daily canvassing is this for me. This year I was very busy working on deals, but there is no substitute for canvassing and business development. This is a hard goal because canvassing is not "fun," but anything worthwhile requires some sense of struggle and I have to do it.

Lastly, I want to become more charitable next year. I believe that becoming more charitable will not only be beneficial to those that I help but also to me. It's for this reason that for the past two months, I've been running with an organization called Back on My Feet and am considering joining their Young Leadership Board. In Give & Take, author Adam Grant talks about the benefits of charity for the person doing it and the "100 Hour Rule," describing the strategy of "chunking" your time devoted to a cause (i.e. 2 hours per week at once vs. 30 minutes each day) and that for whatever reason, 100 hours of giving per year seems to be the magic number to feel the most personal rewards of charitable donation without burnout. For the last few years I've had the desire to give back, and reading that earlier this year propelled me into action. I will see a year from now if I agree with this strategy or not but so far, every morning I run with Back on My Feet, I am happier - regardless of the fact that I'm waking up at 4:50AM to go run with them. 

All in all, the big thing for me next year is continuation. While there's some newness (i.e. daily habit of canvassing and more charitable involvement), it's not much. Instead, it's continued self awareness, continued focusing on relationships, continued meditation, continued healthy habits, continued interesting travel, continued smart work, etc. Life may throw me demons, but right now I'm grateful and happy. And I worked to get here - through reflection and studying pain in order to learn from it and make better decisions for myself, and for that reason I'm proud. Hope everyone has a happy and healthy holiday season.