Consider Setting a Routine

Prior to my son, I enjoyed a very early wake time——4am. I liked my routine to include a warm coffee with my collagen, some reading, journaling, and my desk cycle while I read. Then I’d have a smoothie, at day break walk my dogs, feed them and get ready for my work day. I liked to login early because it gave me time to focus on tasks that required my full attention before needing to collaborate with clients and team members.?

Then I had a baby. Motherhood showed me all the ways I was selfish. Motherhood has humbled me in more ways than one. Micah is going on 16 months and right now the thought of waking up at 4am makes me giggle. In this season, while it’s not impossible, I am loving the relationship I’ve got going with sleep.?

Change in life is inevitable. We change. Our routines should adapt with us. It took me way to long to realize:

1. I was not the same. I had to figure out recovery, who I was, and ways to be the mother I had always dreamt of being.
2. I had another human to care for. He needs me and I could spend 24 hours just staring at him. I literally threw any hope of a routine out the window once we got home. I was with him from sun up to sundown. I took it all in. It was amazing, and I miss those days. I realize now I was giving 100% of myself away. I would probably do it all over again though——there’s nothing like those moments, truly nothing.?
3. I was not the parent that read all the books on what early parenthood would be like. I was winging it. I didn’t read all the books because I wanted the experience to be what we made of it.?

For about eight months of this journey It was just me, the babe, and two dogs. A routine would’ve been really awesome to have inserted here, but babe wasn’t sleeping. So neither was I. When husband returned home, we had four hands on deck. It was time to get baby sleeping, figure out why he’s not wanting more solids, get him to drink less formula, etc.

Some argue that self care is a hoax. Others might argue that some of the practices put in place are unnecessary. My personal opinion——Ultimately, routines are awesome, and implementing a routine is a step in the right direction in terms of self care. Routines provide comfort, order, and predictability. Predictability is safety, its security. A routine can create physical calmness for emotional distress.?

When we first started our new routine, my inner selfish voice started to say: “What about me? A whole morning and night dedicated to the baby, the day goes to work…when do I start to benefit again?” Spoiler alert----We all started to benefit immediately. I try not too be too hard on myself because there were a lot of circumstances outside of my control when it was just me. I wish everyday that I had the mental capacity to implement the routine sooner.?

?It’s been weeks of waking at 6:30AM, giving baby breakfast, making my first cup of coffee, packing Micah’s bag, putting on clothes suitable to be seen in public, getting Micah dressed, and heading for school. Nights look like pick up, return home, dinner at the same time, and a bath to follow. I get him all dressed, swing him around a couple times. Spend a couple minutes telling him all the reasons why my life is better with him, and how perfect he is no matter what. I hand him to hubby who then works on putting him to bed. Then I go tuck myself in.?

Since implementing the routine I’ve benefited in so many ways that I didn’t expect:

1. We are all sleeping through the night
2. We get to bed much earlier than before
3. We try our best to eat together as a family. Which means an earlier dinner which I wholeheartedly appreciate
4. Most days we can do a joint parent pickup from school
5. We spend time forecasting potential changes to create smooth transitions that we all desperately need

Todays Lesson: If you don’t have a routine, implement one and in whatever ways that looks for you.?

You may already have a routine. If your routine needs some tweaking, pay attention to that change in need. Maybe you might think my routine is useless, or maybe you see absolutely no value in setting a routine. This used to be my husband. Sometimes I wish we could talk to the Mike from five years ago who felt this way lol.?Anyway---just know that a routine is a tool that you have no matter where you are in your life. Ultimately you deserve to reap the benefits of a more physical calm.?