Conscious Leaders Must Change Themselves First: 1 Easy Hack for Self-Growth

“Leaders must shift from being responsible for the job, to being responsible for those who do the job”.

(I confess I cannot locate this quote now, it certainly isn’t mine)

Leaders Go First

Leaders must get really good at leading people in their teams, not just managing plans and budgets.? This also means we must get better at leading ourselves, because leading is like being a guide; you best lead where you have already been yourself.

The skills needed to lead yourself include

• Self-reflection
• Honesty
• A willingness to recognise where you need to change and
• The ability to effect that change successfully

As a leader - whether that be as a business owner or senior corporate leader - you must be good at growing yourself.

Leaders go first.

When you grow, in a very real sense you create a different version of yourself.? Say you want to be part of the 5am club, you need to become someone who gets up at 5am and takes their time.? If you are currently someone who gets up at 7am and rushes off to work, that version of you needs to be replaced by the 5am riser, exerciser and meditator.? 7am you must “die” to allow the 5am version to take its place.

I’ll use this example here, but it works for any change to your way of being.

Ego Death

We humans are powerfully attached to how we see ourselves and our world, this is part of the role of our ego.? When we change ourselves, the “old way of being” must end - die as it were - and a new way be born.? This is known as an “ego death” and is resisted. Vigorously.? This is the process by which - try as you might - you cannot form new habits or drop old ones because they keep coming back.? The old version of yourself refuses to die.

When you give energy to the old version of you, it persists.? So when you speak about yourself as “I can’t seem to get up at 5am”, “I wish I could”, “I wish I was like so-and-so who does” this actually pours energy and attention into the current version of you.? The alternative is to separate yourself from this previous you and be kinder and more compassionate towards it.? Here’s some ideas on how to do that.

An Action to Take Right Now

Think of your 7am self as a person, a friend, someone you know well.? Have a conversation with it, maybe even write a letter to it.? Explain how it has served you for many years, you are grateful to it and it’s been awesome; but now, you simply choose to do things differently, to get up at 5am.

This might sound a bit woo-woo, but bear with me because this is effective.? When you do this, it creates a different energy inside - instead of one of frustration, anger, resentment perhaps - it creates an energy of gratitude, acceptance and letting go.

It does something else too; it creates a “persona” of your 7am self that you have a dialogue with inside.? A dialogue must be between two entities, so you subtly shift the current 7am you to one side and speak to it from the new you who chooses 5am.? Now, the old ego begins to move out and a new one grows to replace it.? It becomes less of a death and more of a departure.

Just as you might write to a friend who is going away on a long journey, you can appreciate it and let it go at the same time.? The transition becomes easier, gentler and more likely to stick.? Which means that you are more likely to get up at 5am and less likely to get cross and frustrated if you don’t.? Which is the change that you want in your life, right?

I do this myself, so I know it is effective and I have used it with clients too.? It works.

Alongside enabling you to make change for yourself, there is an interesting side effect: it makes you more compassionate towards thinking about making changes, actually making them and managing the inevitable slip-ups while that process beds in.

Which makes you a more compassionate and understanding leader of those in your team when they need to change.

My name is Neil Lawson and I am a coach for successful business owners or senior leaders who find themselves asking “is this it, is this all there is to life?”

• You are in workhorse mode.? You don’t think it’s possible to switch off 100%, not even on vacation
• You have no time to take care of your health
• You're not sure what else to do and fear what might happen if you can't keep this up

What you want is

• To enjoy life again
• To switch off from business
• To get back to what you really love doing - maybe get out of the rat race
• To have an escape plan

I help people to achieve those objectives. Typically they see real change in 6 months or less, so by the end of 2024 you would be feeling very different.

Book a no-obligation call now.

Header image: Roger Bradshaw via Unsplash