Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Part One

Welcome back to the Body Talk Brief, where we will provide biweekly tips on the science of communication and what you can do to strengthen your communication skills.

If you’re just joining us, you can learn more about Body Talk and what we can do for you here.

Body Talk is the global leader in evidence-based training on the psychology of communication.?

We deliver communication courses, coaching, virtual learning and live events with our clients worldwide, with over 120,000 people trained from 46 countries over the last 22 years!

In our last newsletter, we covered Why do we self-sabotage? (And how to stop!), and we learned that one of the major reasons we self-sabotage is imposter syndrome. As many as 85% of the adult population experiences imposter syndrome. That’s most people that you pass on the sidewalk! So in the next two editions of the Body Talk Brief, we’ll be unpacking how to prevent imposter syndrome.?

Alina Jenkins met with an expert on imposter syndrome and author of two books (Unsubscribe from Anxiety and The Fearless Decision), David Stone, to talk about Conquering Imposter Syndrome on the Body Talk Podcast. David was an architect for 30 years before becoming a successful, internationally known marketing consultant pulling down a healthy six-figures. David suffered from slight anxiety for his whole life, and as he approached retirement age, it got worse and worse. At 55, everything came crashing down, and he found himself living in his car, even as he was still making six figures and serving his clients.?

David’s first impulse was to blame other people for where he was. Then he realised, after everything that happened, there was only one person that was present for all of it: himself.

“As long as it’s someone else’s fault that you’re in the situation you’re in, you’re powerless to do anything about it.”

David found empowerment in taking responsibility for his own actions, and he started making changes. Over the next 3 or 4 years, he studied himself and his thoughts. He wanted to approach his issues with imposter syndrome and anxiety and look at them from a logical, scientific lens.

He discovered this:

1. None of us are born anxious and self-doubting. Newborns only fear two things: loud noises and falling. All of our other fears are learned or conditioned into us. And if we can learn them, surely we can unlearn fears that do not serve us.?
2. We are trained to worry. For example, when our parents tell us not to talk to strangers when we’re 6 and walking home from school, that’s a positive lesson that we need to learn at that time. It’s no longer useful to fear talking to strangers as we get older! But we carry these things forward.
3. The world around us conspires to make us anxious and worried. It’s impossible to escape the news. It’s everywhere! And it’s often information that can cause anxiety, like breaking news about a natural disaster on the other side of the world. While it’s important that we stay aware of what’s happening around us, we can still try our best to maintain boundaries about when and where we’re consuming anxiety-inducing media. It’s usually not something that you need to surround yourself with at all times.
4. Negativity bias is built into our biology. We instantly interpret anything that is unusual as threatening. This was useful thousands of years ago when we had to defend ourselves against sabre-toothed tigers and needed to respond quickly or risk becoming dinner. Our biology is wired to respond and prepare us for action. But today, we don’t experience as many life-threatening events. Our threats today are often vague and intangible like giving a speech or saving for retirement. Our fight or flight response is meant to be there for us when we need it, but we’re not supposed to exist in a constant state of stress.

So how do we combat this?

There are plenty of ways to address anxiety once we’re already experiencing it: go for a walk, drink herbal tea, cuddle up under a weighted blanket. These things help in the moment, but they’re like taking a painkiller. The pain goes away, but the root of the problem is still there. So how do we prevent anxiety to begin with??

Look at the root cause.

It’s easier said than done. You have to analyse what is causing your anxiety in the first place, but David has a method that can help.

Stay tuned for Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Part Two for the “Audacity Method,” David’s three step technique for combatting imposter syndrome and sustaining the healthy habits that help you get there.

Thank you for joining us for another edition of the Body Talk Brief.

Check out our ultimate guide to Advanced Presentation Skills for a more thorough introduction to what we do and tangible advice on how to apply Body Talk to your life. And as always, you can contact us here or email us at [email protected].?

Can we help with your communication skills training? We run fun and interactive courses, workshops and masterclasses to increase your team’s confidence, influence and authority. Check them out here.

And don’t forget to subscribe for more biweekly top tips on the science of communication!