Conquering Fears, Mountains and Life

Life is like a mountain.? There are many ups and downs, twists and turns and unexpected pathways.? There are ‘false summits’ where you reach the brow of a hill only to find another long path and another summit up ahead. You feel like you still have such a long way to go.? But if you turn around, you will see just how far you’ve come and the view behind you is encouraging. Once you get to the summit, the view is spectacular, the feeling of achievement is immense and all the hard work seems worthwhile.?

Then you’re ready to climb the next mountain! Of course, there will be times when you feel afraid.? When that voice inside tells you that you can’t do it. Don’t be daft! You must be crazy! That is when your confidence crumbles and your courage fails you. But if you dig deep and access that inner courage, then you WILL conquer and become triumphant.

But what is fear anyway? Fear is learned so it can be unlearned. Fear comes from all those times when others told you that you can’t do something. From experience of failed attempts.? From the ever-present programming that you’re somehow not good enough. ? But who are others to judge what we’re capable of?? Every failed attempt gives us experience and rarely is anything great achieved at the first attempt.? How many attempts did it take for Thomas Edison to invent the lightbulb?? It's time to silence the voices that want to keep you safe.? There are mountains to climb – metaphorically even if not physically.

?But fears are like dark shadows, you can avoid the corners where they hide and keep yourself in the light if you choose to.? But that leads to a limited life.

What are you allowing fear to stop you from doing? Speaking in Public – on stage or on camera?

Starting or scaling your business?

Leaving a toxic job or relationship?

Travelling solo to places you’ve always wanted to go?

Take up a new hobby?

What could you do if you brought those fears out into the light and dealt with them once and for all?? How would it feel to be able to do those things you’ve always wanted to?

To live a life without limitations and to experience everything wonderful.

But, in order to bring those fears out, you need to have a good enough reason.

For many years, it was on my bucket list to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu – but I had a fear of heights and had the belief that I was NOT capable of serious hiking. As a child, I had always craved adventure and wanted to do adventurous activities, but I was always met with ‘you can’t do that – that’s for boys and you’re a girl’.? I grew up with the belief that I wasn’t capable of anything sporty or physical and this, along with the fear of heights, made me shy away from adventures.? That was OK.? I could just choose more gentle activities.? The problem was that this bred a subconscious feeling that I wasn’t good enough – and that spilled over into my business and social lives.

Finally, at 58, I realised that if I didn’t hike the Inca Trail now, then it would probably never happen and I would regret it deeply. What will you regret if you don’t tackle your fears and finally do the thing you know you really want to?

Once I made the decision and the commitment, it was relatively easy. The secret is taking it slowly – step by step.? You don’t have to fully immerse yourself in the thing you fear most (although that is one method).? You can build up gradually, giving yourself confidence from small successes.

I began with small hikes and small hills.? I had 2 therapy sessions for my fear of heights and managed the rest with my NLP and coaching exercises. I progressed onto a trail on the Rock of Gibraltar, then bigger hills and mountains, including the Jebel Musa mountain in Morocco.? I tested my fear of heights on the Caminito del Rey in Malaga – a walk on a path that literally hangs a couple of metres above ground on the side of a cliff.? I hiked volcanoes in Ecuador and finally, I successfully hiked the Inca Trail and followed this with Rainbow Mountain.

My fears dissolved and my confidence and courage grew.? Not only for hiking in the mountains, but the knock-on effect in my life was incredible.? I began going to dance congresses on my own, took part in adventure activities such as river-canyoning, white water rafting, zip-lining and climbing a via ferrata.? I was on fire. Finally, I took on the challenge to take on the mighty Mt Kilimanjaro and made the summit – twice!?

Plus, I’ve travelled solo all around Tanzania, taken part in a volunteer programme and visited the island of Zanzibar. I would have done none of this without taking on my fears and finding out what I was truly capable of.

How about you??

What small steps can? you take?? What’s YOUR version of Kilimanjaro? Of course, it’s never smooth sailing.? I had my moments of doubt.? Getting the runs on Kilimanjaro when I had to clench my butt cheeks to stop myself from acute embarrassment, while pulling faces while my guide watched me! Vomiting up the Great Barranco Wall and wondering why the hell I was doing it at all.?

But the triumph was worth every moment of discomfort.

True courage and confidence comes from within, but I have some strategies to help you in any situation.? I call this the 5 P Pillars of Courage.

You will learn about these in a free Confidence challenge I'm running, starting on Saturday. The idea is not to go straight to the top of the mountain, but to take the first step. Not to go from 0 to 10 in one leap in terms of your confidence level, but to move the needle from where you are now - just one or two notches. Maybe from 4 to 5. Or perhaps you're already an 8 so let's get you to 9.

Come and join me on this challenge and begin your own journey - where can it take you? You can join us here: https://tinasibley.com/movetheneedle