Conquering the Fear of Failure
Some of us experienced the pain of failing at an early, impressionable age. We had to endure the embarrassment, the ridicule, the pain of being wrong, and the vertigo of slipping off our comfortable pedestals of smiling, parental adoration. It's part of the parcel of expectations that get bundled together during childhood where some of us learn to try to be perfect.
Even though perfection is quite unobtainable, we're easily trapped in the net of its deep-rooted limitations and soon discover that life is a series of frequently repeated disappointments. Simply put, the emotional pain of failure, of rejection, of acute vulnerability produces a shift in the fabric of our personality.
And thus, we make sure we avoid situations where we might fail. It's safer that way. Failure just hurts too much. We're also very good at rationalising our responses, dressing our behaviour in the responsible language of adulthood. But, deep down, we're just afraid of the corrosive pain of failure.
Every successful person I've ever met had to face failure on countless occasions. What made them successful was their decision to keep going.
Let’s accept right now that failure is part of the package of seeking success. It's an integral part of life. When you laugh in the face of failure and just get back on track, it's remarkably liberating. If it doesn't kill you or lop off a limb and incapacitate you, you just keep going. And, as the truly inspiring examples of men and women who've lost limbs amply demonstrates, the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity is truly awe inspiring.
I'm a big fan of confronting the illusion of fear head on. You need to dare to fail at something. It doesn't have to be anything remotely significant. Just test your reaction.
领英推荐
I was failing at something in some way every single day. All I had to do was confront it and admit it. And - well, nothing. The world kept right on spinning and I was still there. I hadn't imploded in a sulphurous cloud of mortifying self-loathing and embarrassment. I began to enjoy telling people when I was wrong. Then I didn't have to pretend to be right all the time. Being wrong, failing, made it easier to focus on the more important details.
The moment when you lose your fear of failure, you're suddenly more willing to experiment, to take chances, to raise your game and run the risk of becoming much more successful. A new opportunity doesn't fill you with dread. You can assess it coolly, logically and remain beautifully free from the blindfold of fear.
The great news is that even when you fail, you learn so much that the experience is never ever wasted. It's a priceless investment in your education for future opportunities. It's the foundation for greater successes in the future. It's the living proof that you're alive and kicking and still in the game.