Conquering to accepting..!

"Conquering" has been my inbuilt mechanism or my defense to changes or disruptions or tackling the unknown or chaos.

When I operated in “conquer mode”, my entire focus would lock onto the goal ahead, with the end result overshadowing everything else. I had little patience for standing still or waiting for things to settle during moments of disruption. Instead, my instinct would kick in, relentlessly hunting for the next viable path, often shaped by both the most popular choice and my own ambitions. I would move with the momentum of the crowd, driven by an inner urge to keep pushing forward.

This cycle persisted for a long time, gradually draining the life out of me. It began with a restless energy, a constant urge to push back against the world, and a rebellious need to defy the norm. But all it really led to was feeling misunderstood, losing faith in myself, and eventually, a deep sense of isolation. I had fallen out of rhythm with my surroundings, leaving me struggling to keep up and feeling disconnected from everything around me.

When I shifted from the “conquer” mindset to one of “letting go” and accepting things as they were, it felt like plunging straight into a battle. Inside, a war raged, leaving me with tear-streaked cheeks as my ego took a hit with every clash. Gradually, I had to surrender, bit by bit, and allow things to unfold on their own. This relentless dismantling of my ego became the path to a new way of seeing the world, opening doors to a fresh perspective.

This was the toughest period of my life when “whatever the hell you do it’s useless and it's no good”. Accepting this was huge .. it doesn’t come easy but then you realise you were never the doer you just performed the role as best as it could be..

In my experience I have been following the norm. The norm of having one in hand before one goes away. The presence of security and stability in one’s life is the normalcy. Who knew we all lurch towards stability until it happens to you…where the next step is in abyss..

My first stint with uncertainty was when the dreamiest offer was taken away from me. I slogged and begged and was ready to do anything but it had to go … “you have to let it go”. When this is what you keep hearing you know you are stepping into the unknown …

My next move was laced with conversations that meant progression and so I leaped at the first opportunity. The first give me a stable pedestal I was able to maintain my balance …that was the conquering mode “ON”!

The moment there was uncertainty and instability I would start exercising my will. The will which I exercised was greatly influenced and heavily sided with my surroundings. Quite often I found myself in situations wherein the decision was made by others and I followed the suit "unknowingly" or "unaware".

This went on for quite some time and unknowingly I always lurched for a known opportunity. It made me feel secure and happy. At times during this role play I sometimes felt pride that I sided with the best opportunity. This went on till the bubble of ignorance was punctured.

The bubble “Nothing is a coincidence in this world even when we think we are exercising our free will it is not so.”

It happens all so well in sync, basically everything is predestined. I might feel I did it but in reality I did not have the complete picture to take a decision. Then whatever happened was meant to be…!

As time unfolded, everything began to feel different. The drive to conquer gradually got replaced into a mindset of patience and acceptance. I came to realise that embracing the present circumstances reveals countless subtleties that often go unnoticed. In learning to wait, I found myself aligned with the rhythm of divine timing, where things fall into place when they’re truly meant to.

In the past, every setback, disruption, or change would send me scrambling to conquer the next challenge, never pausing to accept or wait. Shifting from a “Conquer” mindset to one of “Acceptance” was a profound transformation. It meant moving away from constantly charging ahead to embracing stillness and letting things unfold in their own time.

No matter what happens, the outside world will always be shaped by external forces, beyond your control. But the inner world—that’s entirely your domain. How you tend to your inner state will determine your lasting sense of peace and well-being. It’s the inner work that ultimately keeps you grounded, regardless of what unfolds around you.

As one slips from the state of constant “conquering” to accepting… the whole same world lights up differently!!!

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