Connections

Forming connections and relationships with co-workers is one of the keys to workplace success. It helps foster stronger teams and collaborations. Productivity and morale go up when friendships are strong, bolstering a company’s retention rates. It makes showing up for work every day more enjoyable. You can grow to feel like a family.

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But what happens when one of you goes your separate way due to resignation, termination or a location move? Do those relationships survive, and should you nurture them or simply say, “Buh bye!”?

?Did you really enjoy interacting with your colleagues outside of the office on your personal time? Because now, any interaction will be 100% during your non-working hours.

There is no one-size-fits all solution. So evaluate each friendship on a case by case basis.

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• Evaluate the person. When you worked with them, did you really enjoy interacting with them outside of the office on your personal time? Because now, any interaction will be 100% during your non-working hours.
• If you enjoy their company, decide how often is doable? Will you have monthly, weekly, yearly get-togethers, or will an occasional text or email do?
• Follow their cues. If you find you’re always the one extending the invite, interpret this data based on what you know about the person. If you see that they are often scheduling “reunion” drinks with others but are slow to even respond to your text messages, you may be placing more value on your union then they are.

Keeping in touch with genuine members of your work family is one thing, but let’s face it, sometimes in the corporate world, you will have a co-worker or boss who may not be as warm to you as you’d like. Let’s call them “Frenemies.” They aren’t necessarily out to get you, but you don’t expect them to hurry with the life raft if you’re drowning. So why do they seem to suddenly like you more after one of you leave the compound?

I strongly advocate you maintain and nurture those past relationships.

After spending 17 years with a company, I noticed a preponderance of invites to “Let’s get together soon” or “Hey, quick question for ya” text messages from former colleagues who, quite frankly, I never thought liked me when we worked together. So their unexpected direct messages dropped into my LinkedIn box or out-of-the-blue texts caught me by surprise. But you know what? Much to the chagrin of my real workplace family, I embraced every single one of the people who took the time to reach out to me. And I strongly advocate you maintain and nurture those past relationships too. Here’s why:

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1. Maybe the person has changed! Don’t count on it, but be open to the possibility. People grow and mature as they endure life changes. Unless you flat out despised the person, give them a chance.
2. Perhaps when they worked with you, they saw you as a threat. Now that you’re no longer in adversarial positions, you get all of the love and energy that wasn’t afforded to you before. An ex-colleague can remember your likes, dislikes, struggles and strong points. That familiarity can be a huge plus when they come across opportunities or deals on everything from reliable child care to real estate.
3. You may discover that that person could be a valuable ally. They want to see you shine from a distance and may be willing to help you advance in your career as long as it’s over there somewhere.
4. Their added network can become your added network. Old colleagues can expand your network and help you leverage relationships with a crop of new acquaintances. Why miss out on an opportunity to receive mentorship, fill open positions, and/or help build your business or brand.
5. Even if they didn’t like you personally, chances are they secretly respected your work ethic and performance (and vice versa). Who better to advocate for you should you find yourself wanting to find a way into their new company or needing them to provide a character reference for you?
6. One day, you could find yourself working side-by-side with them again, or Lord help us, even reporting to them. Wouldn’t you rather the opportunity be embraced because you kept the pathways between you two open and friendly?
7. And lastly, as adults we don’t make new friends as easily as we did when we were younger. As Black women, it may be hard for us to meet new acquaintances who don’t look like us. Why not start with someone we already know we have something in common with?

Former colleagues. Love them or hate them, they are a by-product of our work lives. Identify those that can be mutually beneficial to you because, although our relationships with them can be like looking back into a time capsule – which is nice – be mindful that they just might also help build your future.

Level Up with Grace?is a weekly newsletter designed to equip Black women (and others) who want to unapologetically create a stellar career with the strategies, insights, and techniques needed to excel in corporate America. Executive coach Cheryl Grace shares a curation of thoughts, articles, profiles, trends, and tactics that can help women advance to their next professional level, wherever they are on their career journey.?Weekly emphasis on?Confidence,?Curiosity,?Case Studies?(Personal Profiles),?Connection?(Networking), or?Course of Action?(What to DO).?Please subscribe and/or share!

Our whip-smart writing and research team includes?Lisa A. Alleyne,?Peppur Chambers, and?Anthony Tone Payton.

Graphics:?Shutterstock Stock Images illustrated by the fabulously talented?Natalia Hubbert.

Powerful Penny LLC?is an executive coaching, consulting, and lifestyle firm founded by veteran corporate executive Cheryl Grace. We work with corporations seeking to promote, retain, and support diverse talent, as well as diverse professionals seeking to advance to their next level of career success. Our professional development services, coaching programs, and speaking/workshop series are fully customizable.?Discover how we can help you achieve your desired long-term results!