Connection as a Key to Resilience

As I noted in my last post, researchers from the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, recently released a new framework for how people can cultivate their resilience and flourish. They identified four core dimensions of well-being – awareness, connection, insight, and purpose – and provided guidance for ways to strengthen our skills in each area to improve our sense of wellbeing.

The second of these four key skills – connection – refers to caring and supportive social relationships, including a focus on the well-being of others. Kindness, gratitude, empathic concern, compassion and generosity all strengthen our bonds to others and contribute to a sense of psychological wellbeing.

An important aspect of this is recognizing our shared humanity with others who are different from us. Especially in the face of current divisions related to race, religion, culture, and politics, it can be helpful to emphasize others’ similarities to us, rather than their differences, in order to understand the world from their perspective.

One way to develop our sense of connection is through the practice of loving kindness meditation:

·      Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed and take a few slow, deep breaths.

• Then, imagine a person from your life who has shown you love and kindness. Imagine being bathed in their concern and wishes for your well-being, like warm sunlight on your skin. Bask in their kindness and affection, allowing any tension you feel to melt away.
• Next, imagine someone you are close to, and direct your love and care towards them, saying silently three times, “May you be happy, may you be healthy, and may you live with ease.” Shower them with compassionate energy and the love overflowing from your heart.
• After bathing them in loving kindness, imagine an acquaintance, someone you don’t know well or have any particular feelings about, and send your love and well wishes to them, again saying three times silently, “May you be happy, may you be healthy, and may you live with ease.” Hold them in your mind and in your heart with kindness and respect.
• Now, imagine someone you have difficulty offering loving kindness, someone who may have caused you suffering or wronged you, someone you may feel doesn’t deserve compassion, and open your heart to them. Remember that they are people, too, with struggles you may never know, and pour out loving kindness to them. “May you be happy, may you be healthy, and may you live with ease.”
• Expand your awareness to all living beings and share your love and compassion with all life, repeating silently, “May you be happy, may you be healthy, and may you live with ease.” Imagine the world illuminated with tender concern, from the birds flying high above the Earth to the whales deep in the ocean.
• Finally, sit quietly and take some more slow, deep breaths as you enjoy a feeling of loving kindness and peace.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you live with ease.

To learn more, visit https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/loving_kindness_meditation or https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32197.

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for support from the Crisis Text Line. The National Helpline for alcohol and drug abuse is at 1-800-662-4357. All three are free and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of the year.

This piece was originally published on the Partners in Mind site for employee members of the Employee Resource Group (ERG) for mental health at The Standard.

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This piece is not intended as medical or legal advice. Always speak with your medical provider before initiating a diet or exercise regimen or if you have medical questions. If you have legal questions, consult with an attorney.

This article represents my own opinions as a non-physician and does not reflect the opinions or positions of my employer.