Connection does not mean Connected on LinkedIn

LinkedIn has been around for a long time. In fact, we will be celebrating birthday #19 this year. It is an amazing community but not all people who have a lot of connections are connected.

It is deceiving to the eye when we see people with thousands of connections. We often equate that to popularity, likeability, and LinkedIn success. The truth is that some of these people are also some of the lonliest people on LinkedIn.

Covid has drastically changed the lives of many professionals. Many people, used to networking face-to-face, found themselves having to become social networkers instead. Those who had powerful off-line networks suddenly found themselves with no network to rely on and socialize with. Many who feel uncomfortable and less adept socially, found themselves having to rely a lot more on LinkedIn to help reach their goals.

LinkedIn saw numbers grow, connections multiply, and activity on the platform, soar. But things not so often addressed, or talked about, have been the loneliness, disruption, uneasiness, social inadequacy, and lack of connectivity experienced by those professionals who struggle to feel LinkedIn.

If we asked the question,

"How often do you feel lonely on LinkedIn?", what do you think would be the response? If you are reading this, YOU may even be experiencing loneliness on LinkedIn, and you are not alone.

With over 810 million?members in more than 200 countries and territories worldwide, it is hard to find your unique place on LinkedIn with so many other professionals vying for attention, marketing similar services, competing for business, and trying to find their way. These factors often make their way to the top when thinking of your hierarchy of needs - LinkedIn style; the importance of social connection gets lost even though a feeling of connection is LinkedIn's social glue!

Picture: Social Media is Society's Super Glue, Credit: Transitions, Tansitology.com

The LinkedIn world might begin to feel like a minefield of potential triggers: from the comparison trap to overwhelming feelings of imposter syndrome, to FOMO (fear of missing out), to obsessively checking to see how many have “liked” or "commented" on your latest post. Did you know that researchers from the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that participants

".....who are online most frequently–defined as 50 or more visits a week–have?three times the odds?of perceived social isolation as those who went online less than nine times a week. And it isn’t just young adults affected by this loneliness conundrum."

It can be adults; professionals on LinkedIn who feel unable to discover ways to find and foster the feeling of connectedness on LinkedIn even though it may come easily networking face-to-face.

So, for those of you who may feel lonely on LinkedIn:

1. Know that you are not alone
2. Join some events that bring people together
3. Reach out to others
4. Let people know how you are feeling
5. Create a post that can help others
6. Ask to have a LinkedIn Latte with someone who uplifts you
7. Give yourself some time away from Linkedin to focus on yourself and feel better
8. Unfollow people who make you feel bad
9. Follow more people who inspire you and have similar interests

10. Figure out, for you, when your needs are best met by LinkedIn and when nothing will replace human interaction. Think about what sinks or elevates your emotional state.

11. Trade self-consciousness for interest in other people; seek out conversations

12. Overcome your resistance to change

13. Be open to a new way of forming deeper friendships. Start casual, take small steps, embrace strange situations and strangers, and let relationships evolve when something clicks

14. Take relationships offline

15. LinkedIn Loneliness isn’t something to be ashamed of because it seems silly

Picture from: Samuel Centre for Social Connectedness

For those of you who have mastered social connectedness on LinkedIn and are in a position to help:

1. Be a part of a support structure
2. Check-in on people once in a while
3. Actively listen
4. Invite others to collaborate
5. Consistently demonstrate thoughtfulness by being kind
6. Celebrate others' wins
7. Refrain from only hearing your voice
8. Use inclusive language
9. Develop empathy by listening, observing, learning, and asking questions. Be curious.
10. Opt to invest in conversations rather than putting on a performance
11. Validate others' feelings
12. Reflect on the days when you were first starting out to deepen your awareness
13. Write posts that touch on this topic to extend reach and develop awareness
14. Introduce people in your network
15. Do not think that those who have a lot of connections necessarily feel connected

LinkedIn is about community. Every time you encounter another person, think:?how can I help this person? Nothing else can so quickly supercharge your professional relationships and improve the quality of your LinkedIn life.

There are many people who are trying to find their way on LinkedIn. Be that person; the one who wants more people to feel that joy and power that comes from understanding and truly feeling connected on LinkedIn.