Connection Can’t Be Deleted
Lucia Brizzi
Empowering connected leaders to give as they grow, building cultures of belonging. Leadership Expert | Program Designer | Coach | Speaker | Trainer | Podcaster
Many in the Next Level Leadership community have recently advanced. Of our seven latest programs, 31% were promoted within the 6-month program alone. A common fear at this time is lost connection. And, as we chart the course of our careers, we see the cyclical nature of our web. The right people return. New people expand possibilities. Here’s a story on how I navigated my fear of lost connection to remember what’s timeless. Read to end for a New Year's journaling prompt.
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I used to measure time by instagram.?
My girlfriend Kasey and I had a New Year's tradition: rent an Airbnb in the desert or forest surrounding LA, fill it with arts and crafts, pull out our phones. Then, we’d scroll the year passed, listing “100 Gratitudes.” Every grid would evoke shrieks and ahs, fuzzy memories jogged.?
Then, I permanently deleted it. Fifteen years of posting everything, everywhere, gone. Breaking social media addiction gave me back my life. I saw how filtered through “post and share” it’d become. The present felt pure. And, in the two years since, I’ve on occasion felt like I accidentally deleted limbs. Wild years, fun nights, messy vacations, indulgent selfies. Swaths of my story.?
A month ago I returned to LA after two years, the same two years since I deleted Instagram, on which I’d captured a decade of life there. I was there to fact check my greatest fear; I’d deleted a version of me. Had I deleted the decade I’d spent living, working, loving the indie comedy scene, building community, building a stage presence, growing up? The only thing I cared about was driving around meeting friends for one on one conversations. I was asking, “Were you there?” “Was I there?”, and by that I was praying,? “Are you here?” “Are we here?” Yes, yes, yes, yes.
On day two, I said to my pal John, “I’m just so happy time doesn’t exist.” Two decades on from me, he laughed and said “That’s a good one.” Instagram was a great way to measure time. Friends track what’s timeless. I flew home, all in one piece.?
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The takeaway:?
Tech’s a helpful extension of our mind. It pales in comparison to our mind, which is, indeed, already “extended.” In “The Extended Mind,” Annie Murphy Paul writes, “Neuroscientific findings join a larger body of evidence generated by psychology and cognitive science, all pointing to a striking conclusion: we think best when we think socially.”?
We’re dynamically engaged with our world and, most notably, the people in it. Our stories are interconnected. To remember yourself, reconnect with people from your past. To develop yourself, connect with people who inspire you. They’re your co-writers.
Back to the New Year's tradition, when I think back—Kasey, the AirBnB, Instagram—our phones are the only thing I'd delete. And my New Year’s “100 Gratitudes” list, which I still do every year, is invariably a list of people and moments with them. Every year. Try it for yourself.
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*Note: I’ll be sharing this on IG, which I use with moderation.