Connection & Belonging — We Can Do So Much Better!

Why are so many efforts to nurture connection and belonging in organizations ineffectual? Years of? research lead me to conclude that current efforts are mostly misguided and too shallow, and that we can do much better. To further test and explore my conclusions I recently set out to talk with thoughtful organization leaders. I’ll share these findings through this newsletter.

Much Concern …

Lately there are countless media articles about loneliness, disconnection in the workplace, quiet quitting, and burnout.

Some blame this pervasive loneliness on the pandemic, including the initial forced social-isolation and the resulting increase in remote work. While difficult for some, others came to enjoy the convenience of work-from-home culture.

However, many believe our disconnection started long before 2020. It was 1995 when scholar Robert Putnam published his seminal essay “Bowling Alone: America’s Declining Social Capital”. The pandemic may have only exacerbated and highlighted underlying trends.

Whatever their origin, the impact of social isolation is not just on individual and social health. As Surgeon General Vivek Murthy highlighted, we’re suffering a resulting crisis of economic prosperity and civic engagement as well.

In response, leaders are advised that “to retain employees, organizations need to evolve their approach to building community, cohesion, and a sense of belonging at work.” Industry journals emphasize the importance of building connection in a disconnected workplace and creating psychological safety.

Investors see an opportunity in “the emerging loneliness economy,” with articles spotlighting startups aiming to “solve loneliness” through AI chatbots, apps that teach people how to make friends, and new clubs.

… But Little Effective Action

Others criticize such individual-focused efforts. One claims that “there is no loneliness epidemic”, and that “everyone from the surgeon general to mental-health startups have misdiagnosed America’s problem.” While another asks, “We know the cure for loneliness. So why do we suffer?”

Summarizing this cacophony, another report includes this alarming note:

“So here we are: desperate not only to connect meaningfully with one another, but to live in a culture in which connections flourish. And though we are increasingly skilled at diagnosing the pain and pointing to the systems that perpetuate it, our strategies for cultivating connection can be found wanting.”

The simple and disturbing message: we’ve got a crisis on our hands, and our responses are simply not up to the challenge.

My View: A Misguided And Shallow Response

At a basic level the situation is puzzling. We humans are fundamentally a very social species, and philosophers, ancient and modern, have stressed the importance of cultivating family, friends and social connections. Have we simply forgotten how to connect or lost the drive for it? Or are we facing new barriers to forming community? If so, how has this happened, and what can be done? If not, and humans are operating as they always have, why is there so much alarm?

For two decades, after 25 years in science and technology (NASA, Apple, etc.), my focus has been on how we care for ourselves and those around us. This led to the development of tools and experiences to help people better understand themselves and connect with each other, and to working with wide-ranging collaborators, from business execs, military leaders, and doctors to students, waiters and house cleaners.

I have come to believe that most current efforts to nurture connection and belonging are misguided and too shallow: they focus on individualized responses and on imparting “expert” external advice, and rely on short, “cost-effective” projects. These efforts aim way too low, hoping only for some measurable change in symptoms, rather than getting to the heart of the matter. Instead, we can do much, much better by addressing the collective, strengthening and amplifying internal wisdom, and treating culture as a core strategy imperative, which requires ongoing commitment.

Seeking Clarity On The Situation And Effective Responses

In my quest to test my beliefs and approach (to “validate my hypotheses” as my scientist-self would say), I have started interviewing a wide variety of organizational leaders to learn from their experiences and perspectives. I’m talking with formal and informal leaders of small businesses and multinational corporations, from those in fluid industries where many are effectively solo contractors, to those in institutions that are traditionally long-term careers.

More To Come

Every week I’ll be writing about my findings and analysis in this newsletter. To be alerted to these updates, please subscribe.

Photo by Rajiv Mehta

Exploring Belonging is a weekly newsletter rich in interviews, news & analysis of innovations in cultivating communities of connection and belonging. Subscribe to receive new posts in your inbox.