Connecting With Your Mind
Marta Migueis
Empowerment Coach & Survivor | Empowering Survivors of Gender-Based Violence Through Self-Discovery & Personal Growth ??Who Are You? How Do You Relate to Others? What's Your Purpose in Life?
The Voices In Our Mind
That mean voice in your head is not you and not true - Marie Forleo
We all have voices in our minds, trying to be heard and understood.
They’re not always helpful or useful, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore them.
For me, the constant voice that always shows up is, ‘I could have done more and better’
At first glance, it seems like a reasonable voice.
It pushes me to learn, to increase my skills and to be a better person and better professional.
But this is also the voice that has haunted me for years.
The one telling me I’m never good enough.
It has told me:
The hard truth is, these voices will forever be in my mind.
They are part of me and I create them - consciously or not.
And so do you.
The voices in your mind are part of you.
They are created by your values, beliefs, assumptions, and experiences.
They are meant to help you make sense of the world and keep you safe.
But they're only useful if you know how they show up and impact your life.
They are only useful to the extent of your awareness.
Left unconscious, these voices keep you stuck in old patterns of thinking and behaving.
Left unconscious, they will “direct your life and you will call it fate” (Carl Jung)
The voices in your mind are simply thoughts, coming and going, trying to help you make sense of the world.
Thoughts that you don’t have to listen to.
Thoughts that you don’t have to identify with.
Thoughts that you can choose to change.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
Thoughts are mental cognitions; mental processes of the mind.
Ideas, opinions, beliefs, attitudes, and even images.
Thoughts can be conscious or unconscious and can range from simple to complex.
Their main function is to process information, make decisions, and help you make sense of the world.
Your thoughts come and go, they change, and they are easily influenced.
They’re not a fixed or permanent aspect of who you are.
Your thoughts include your perspective of any situation, and they are not necessarily true, right, or wrong.
The more aware of your thoughts you are, the easier it is to choose to change them.
Thoughts are extremely powerful.
They are the foundation of how you feel and create your life.
But you are not your thoughts.
The Observer of Thoughts
You are not your thoughts.
You are the observer of your thoughts.
Most of your thoughts come from the automatic, fast Brain - the warehouse of things you learned in the past.
Thoughts coming from the warehouse happen so quickly it’s often outside of your awareness.
And what happens outside of your awareness, keeps you stuck in old patterns.
The good news is, you also have a more conscious and deliberate Mind - the Headquarters.
Headquarters is where you observe the automatic thoughts and decide what you want to do about them.
From Headquarters, you can break out of old automatic patterns and decide to do something different with your thoughts.
Headquarters is your level of conscious awareness.
It’s where you can observe your thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
This is where you witness your life, silently observing and watching your thoughts come and go.
You cannot stop your thoughts from flowing in and out of your mind.
You observe the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.
You are the consciousness that observes them.
If you become too attached to your thoughts, you may get trapped in them.
You become trapped in certain beliefs or ideas that no longer suit your life.
Once you recognise that you are not your thoughts, you can begin to create distance from your thinking.
You will - with time and practice - be able to observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them.
Quiet observation of your thinking helps you to remain calm, focused, and centred.
It helps you become aware of your pattern of thinking, which is essential to break free from harmful tendencies.
This is not to say that you should ignore or dismiss your thoughts.
Your thoughts hold great power and valuable information.
Thoughts help you to make sense of the world.
But they don’t define you.
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The Observer of Thoughts
Connect with your Mind.
Change your life.
When you’re sitting in Headquarters, calmly observing your thoughts, you get to choose.
Which thoughts are true?
Which thoughts are helpful?
Which thoughts do you want to respond to?
Which thoughts do you want to ignore?
Choosing your thoughts is where all of your power is in life.
But you need to deeply connect with your Mind.
Below you will find two practices you can use to begin connecting with your Mind.
There is a reason why Meditation & Mindfulness are ‘cliché’ practices in the Coaching and Mental Health industries: They work!
Meditation
Meditation is not about the absence of thoughts.
Meditation is the practice of focused awareness.
Meditation is about focusing your awareness and noticing your thoughts without judging or trying to change them.
With practice, Meditation allows you to focus your conscious awareness where you want it, instead of letting your mind wander from thought to thought.
1. Sit comfortably with your feet on the floor.
You can also stand up or lie down, but sitting is the most comfortable position for most people.
2. Focus your attention on your breathing - don’t try to control it, just notice it.
You can also focus on something you can touch, see or hear, but breathing is the easiest for most people.
3. Pay attention to your thoughts.
Notice what's coming up and gently re-focus your attention when your mind wanders.
Mindfulness
Meditation and mindfulness are often used interchangeably, but they are slightly different.
Meditation practices your focused awareness.
Mindfulness goes deeper and allows you to hover calmly and objectively over your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Mindfulness means you take your time to respond, without letting triggers and automatic reactions, pre-programmed in your brain to take over.
It enhances awareness of moment-to-moment experiences, allowing you to be more present.
Mindfulness practices work best when implemented in your daily life.
For that, you have to slow down when doing mundane tasks, and bring your attention to what you’re doing.
My personal favourite: mindful eating.
Most people eat on auto-pilot.
When you eat mindfully, you have to pay full attention to the act of eating.
Bring your attention to the shape, the smell, and the taste of your food.
Notice the sensation of the food as you eat it.
Mindfulness takes practice.
It will feel weird (and a little stupid) in the beginning.
It will be uncomfortable.
Until it’s not.
Mind & Body Connected
If the mind is tranquil and occupied with positive thoughts, the body will not easily fall prey to disease - Dalai Lama XIV
Mind and Body are deeply connected.
The Mind influences the Body just as much as the Body influences the Mind.
Your thoughts (Mind) and emotions (Body) profoundly impact one another.
For example, worrying about an upcoming event (thought) may cause fear (emotion).
Connecting deeply with your Conscious Mind requires practice and dedication.
But becoming the observer and chooser of your thoughts are well worth the effort.
By connecting with your mind, you can develop self-awareness.
And self-awareness means you feel more in control of yourself and your life.
Self-awareness is the first step to Healing.
People can never get better without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel - Bessel Van Der Kolk
Resources
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You are always welcome to reach out to me.
I promise you a non-salesly and non-judgemental conversation.