Connecting Through Communication "One must know themselves to grow themselves." — John C. Maxwell.

"One must know themselves to grow themselves." — John C. Maxwell.

Effective communication is a cornerstone of leadership. To communicate clearly with others, one must first have a solid understanding of who they are. If you don’t know yourself—your values, your likes, dislikes, and how you respond to various situations—it becomes difficult to communicate effectively with others. As John C. Maxwell says, "One must know themselves to grow themselves." Growth and self-awareness are foundational to communicating in a way that builds trust and fosters genuine connections.

1. Know Yourself Before Leading Others

Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding others. Leaders who lack self-awareness often struggle to connect with their teams because they aren’t sure what motivates or drives them, much less their teams. This is where the concept of “the blind leading the blind” comes into play. When a leader is unsure of their own values and direction, how can they expect others to follow with confidence?

For much of my life, I didn’t always connect with others. My family photos tell the story—there are so many memories where I am missing, absent from family events, always preferring solitude. I come from a large family, and most of my siblings fall into the social or influencer personality types. Crowds, too much excitement, and noise are overwhelming, and I easily retreat to the comfort of my home with a book—often something motivational, an autobiography, or spiritual.

For many years, I thought something was wrong with me. I even called myself “weird” because I didn’t thrive in the same settings as my siblings. It wasn’t until a few years ago, when I did my first DISC personality profile that I began to understand and embrace my differences. What once seemed strange to me now makes sense, and I’ve learned to appreciate the value of my quieter personality and the more social traits of my siblings. As a result, my family relationships have greatly improved, and I can connect with them more meaningfully.

?2. Clear Communication is Critical for Leadership Success

The essence of leadership is influence, and influence is created through effective communication. Leaders need to give clear, concise directions so that others can confidently follow. Confusing or unclear communication creates unnecessary frustration and leads to mistakes. When communication is clear, people feel secure, engaged, and inspired to act.

Here are some tips for clear communication that I continue to learn:

• Be Specific: Avoid vague instructions. Tell your team exactly what needs to be done and why it matters.
• Listen First: Effective communication is a two-way street. Listen to understand, not just to respond.
• Check for Understanding: Ensure that the message you sent is the message that was received. Ask questions to confirm.

3. Build Trust Through Consistency

Consistency in communication helps to build trust, which is vital for connecting with others. When people see that your words align with your actions, they’re more likely to believe in your leadership. Inconsistency breeds doubt and erodes trust. For example, if you communicate one standard but act on another, it becomes difficult for others to trust your direction.

• Lead by Example: Your actions must reflect the messages you are sending.
• Stay Transparent: Be open and honest, even when the news is tough.
• Be Reliable: Follow through on your commitments—whether as simple as responding to an email or as complex as completing a major project.

4. Empathy: The Key to Genuine Connection

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. This is crucial in connecting with others on a deeper level. When you understand what others are feeling or experiencing, you can tailor your communication to address their needs and concerns. Leaders who practice empathetic communication inspire loyalty and foster an environment where people feel valued and understood.

?To improve empathy in communication:

• Be Present: Focus fully on the conversation at hand without distractions.
• Acknowledge Feelings: Validate what others are feeling even if you disagree with their perspective.
• Ask Questions: Show interest in the well-being and thoughts of others by asking meaningful questions.

5. Leverage Nonverbal Communication

Your body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions often say more than your words ever could. Mastering nonverbal communication is essential in ensuring your messages are fully understood. A smile, nod, or a firm handshake can reinforce your message, while poor eye contact or crossed arms can send the opposite signal.

• Maintain Eye Contact: This shows confidence and sincerity.
• Use Open Body Language: Avoid crossing arms or legs, which can signal defensiveness or discomfort.
• Pay Attention to Tone: Your tone of voice should match the content of your message—firm but kind when giving instructions and compassionate when addressing concerns.

6. Foster Open Dialogue

Leaders who encourage open dialogue within their teams foster a culture of transparency and trust. When people feel safe to express their ideas, feedback, and concerns without fear of judgment or backlash, they’re more likely to be engaged and committed. Open communication also leads to innovation, as everyone feels empowered to contribute ideas.

Here are some ways to encourage open dialogue:

• Create a Safe Space: Let your team know that their input is valued and that mistakes are opportunities for learning, not punishment.
• Encourage Feedback: Ask for feedback and act on it to show that their voice matters.
• Be Approachable: Make yourself available for questions or discussions. Team members are more likely to communicate openly when they feel comfortable approaching you.

Conclusion: Communication is Key to Connection

In summary, connecting through communication is about more than just exchanging words. It’s about knowing yourself, being clear and empathetic, and fostering a culture of openness. When leaders communicate with clarity, consistency, and care, they create an environment where people can connect, grow, and succeed.

If my story resonates with you and you are still struggling, let’s connect. I have walked the journey of learning to accept myself and improve relationships through communication, and I’d love to support you on your journey. You can reach me here: https://johncmaxwellgroup.com/meganwade

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