Connecting With Others

As we wrap up another year (can you believe it??), it’s a perfect time to reflect on the last 12 months and how we connected with people in 2024. Think about the relationships that have shaped your life – both personal and professional. Evaluating your successes and challenges this year can really help jump-start your planning for the year ahead. (You had to know I was going to talk about planning!)?

Whether you’re in a sales job (which, hint-hint, every job is a sales job) or you’re trying to sell yourself for that new job, promotion, or project team, there’s a huge amount of psychology, planning and gumption involved. We sell ourselves every day to get the things we want. But are you selling yourself strategically?????

Sales psychology is the art of selling while emphasizing the importance of emotional connections with clients. I agree with psychologist Robert Cialdini, that a common mistake in sales is focusing on costs. If you understand the values of your target audience, you can use strategies to show how the product or service aligns with those values. Price is only in question when value is in question. And if you trust the salesperson and believe that they have your best interest at heart, that is half of the sale. When you are selling, whether it be your company or yourself, are you putting yourself in other people’s shoes? Do you seek to understand their needs, wants, and expectations? Are you taking the time to understand the emotional needs of your clients, colleagues, family and friends??

Transactional vs Relational

At first glance, sales may seem like a purely transactional process, but if you delve a little deeper, you’ll uncover layers of psychology at play. Successful salespeople understand the power of emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize and manage emotions (both your own and those of others) to navigate complex social interactions.?

?During this time of year, a unique phenomenon occurs. People tend to be a little kinder, more generous, and more open to forming connections. This isn’t just a societal norm; there’s actual psychology behind it. The holiday season prompts feelings of nostalgia, gratitude and warmth, which in turn influence our behaviors toward others.?

?Psychology and Sales

So, what can we learn from this convergence of psychology and sales as we review our relationships and prepare to start anew in the coming year??

1. The importance of authenticity. People are drawn to genuine individuals who express their true selves. In sales, this translates to being honest about what you are offering, listening actively to clients’ needs, and building trust through transparency. (Sound familiar? I talk about this a lot in my book!) Think of it this way: Have you ever met someone who just seemed to get you? They listened, understood how you felt, and maybe even helped you without expecting anything in return. This is emotional intelligence at work and authenticity at its core.??
2. Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role. Understanding clients’ emotions allows you to tailor your approach, anticipate their concerns, and offer solutions that resonate on a deeper level. Empathy, in particular, is a powerful tool that brings connection and builds rapport.?
3. Reflect on reciprocity. The principle of reciprocity suggests that when we give, we’re more likely to receive in return. This isn’t about transactional exchanges but rather genuine acts of kindness, support and creating value in the lives of others. In sales, going the extra mile and providing added value (I call it the WOW Factor) can strengthen client relationships and lead to long-term partnerships.??

Let me tell you about a client of mine who works as a sales tech. Kyle recently had a meeting with a manufacturing company that he extensively researched before the appointment. But during the meeting, instead of diving straight into the sale, he started asking questions and actively listening to the client’s concerns. In an attempt to understand the current workflow frustrations they were experiencing and the outcomes they hoped to achieve, Kyle realized his standard presentation actually wouldn’t address their needs. So, he decided to be more transparent and authentic, acknowledging that while what his company offered was powerful, it might not be a perfect fit for his client.??

In the process, Kyle shared specific examples of how other clients in similar industries customized his company’s software to suit their specific needs and examples of how his team would support them every step of the way. By being authentic and transparent, he built trust with the client. They appreciated his honesty and willingness to address concerns instead of pushing a one-size-fits-all solution. And in the end, the client hired him. Not just because of the software’s features but also because they trusted Kyle’s team to deliver on promises and support them through their journey.??

The Real You

Authenticity in sales is about being genuine, transparent, and focusing on building trust rather than just closing a deal. When clients feel that you have their best interests at heart and are honest about what you can offer, it lays a solid foundation for long-lasting relationships and successful partnerships.??

Remember, relationships are a two-way street. It’s not just about what you can gain but, more importantly, what you can give! This applies not only in sales but in all aspects of life. Cultivating meaningful connections requires mutual respect, active listening, and a willingness to collaborate for mutual benefit.??

As the year comes to an end, take stock of what has worked well in your relationships and what may need improvement. Embrace the psychology of sales as a framework for building stronger, more authentic connections in the year ahead.??

Remember, nobody succeeds alone, and the journey is enriched by the relationships we nurture along the way. Here’s to starting the new year with a fresh perspective and commitment to meaningful connections. We’re all in this together, learning and growing along the way!?