Connecting my dots?

This morning, I had the privilege to be a panellist at our Women of Workato Employee Resource Group alongside two amazing colleagues Carly Urmann and Colette Tay . Last session, our Chief People Officer Carle Quinn (a.k.a. my boss) said in order to connect, ask "who they are, not what they do". And so today I was bestowed an audience of 50+ colleagues, thanks to the ERG enablers LaRose Currie and Taylor Cunningham to share my story and thoughts.

I like these sessions because they force me to pause and reflect on who I am, what I've done and why I am where I am today. Writing down what I've shared in the ERG earlier, as well as some of my afterthoughts...the title of this article is inspired by Steve Jobs' famous quote on connecting the dots looking backwards.

1. My Interest in People

Everything I've dreamt of doing (being a teacher, a civil servant) and have actually done (student council, volunteer work, academic research, Geography masters, HR) all revolved around my interest in people. My social sciences training laid the foundation for me to do what I need to get done at Workato: being curious about people's stories, aspirations and trajectories means keeping an open mind as well as leaving preconceived notions at the door and practising active listening. Because of that, I dive deeper into how things are working or not working out for people.

2. Resilience is Relational

I spoke about how my definition of resilience is not just taking whatever came/comes my way, but making sure that I know what my non-negotiables are. For me, making sure we do right by our people by making decisions I feel I am able to defend, those have been and continue to be important. It means clarifying decisions and making sure I understand what the intentions are, so that I feel comfortable communicating it forwards.

Over the last 5 years (I just hit my 5th year anniversary at Workato!), I've told my friends that despite the chaos that come with being at a fast-growing startup, the HR job really has been a lot easier than some experience at their workplaces. The leadership team whom I've worked with are family-oriented and employee-centric leaders, so I've not had to defend a poor decision / a decision I do not believe in. Really, I've had the opposite challenge - trying to keep up with how fast we want to do right by our people. Neither is easy, but I would obviously take the latter any day.

I also love that despite our fast growth, one thing stays the same. That collaborative, 'we win as a team' culture where we trust one another implicitly to succeed together - that's the power boost for me. My resilience is a function of the teamwork that we have at Workato.

3. "Do it all, have it all" is not my thing. "Taking one step at a time" works for me.

My advice to myself is don't be afraid to try new things. Never say never. But also don't be afraid to say no.

Back in junior college days, I've heard schoolmates chose subject combinations based on "what-ifs" and "just in case" where they select subjects that they didn't particularly enjoy (over the ones they really do) because those subjects (e.g. Chemistry, Maths) would open so many more doors for them, you know just in case they wanted to practise medicine over being a great economist. I enjoyed English Literature but sucked at it. I barely passed my exams - I think the highest score I ever had for an essay was 32/50. Because English Literature was a prerequisite for staying in the Humanities Program, I'm glad I listened to my senior's advice back then and trudged along because some of my best friends 15 years later were my classmates. I tried something new (English Literature), didn't do well in the exams but learnt and gained so much more in return (critical thinking, friendships!).

In university, I plucked the courage to take Bahasa Indonesia language modules at NUS (something I always wanted to pursue but feared being overwhelmed because high school days were hectic). Best decision ever. My language training coupled with my social sciences background led me to join the Migrating out of Poverty Research Programme Consortium as my first career out of school. I never thought I would be an academic researcher, but when the opportunity presented itself, I said, "why not?" That "why not" led to adventures in rural villages in Ponorogo, East Java over a 3-4 year period. I also committed to doing a free Masters program (perks of being employed by the university), and wrote my Masters thesis research on young women's aspirations from families with migrant parents. It taught me that aspirations are never simply individual, they are always formed in interaction and in the thick of social life.

Over the years, I've also become much more mindful not to impose normative beliefs on how my/our lives should be, or what "success" looks like because they can be very stressful and damaging to our mental wellbeing and self worth. I've learnt that enjoying what I do, and making sure I grow and learn is the key to my happiness and mental health. Family is also very important to me, especially at this stage in life where I have a toddler who's turning 3 in 2 months. Everything else, I don't worry too much. I am glad to see many of my peers with similar mindsets too - I've friends who've taken a pause in their careers to take care of their families; and others who've made mid-career switches to pursue their passions in life. There really is more than just one right pathway in life, but who knows how the future looks like really? I've found that taking one step at a time (一步一步来), and trusting that the dots will somehow connect in my future (Steve Jobs) works well for me.

4. What I like to see happen next?

When I said it, I didn't expect the men to respond and react as much as I thought women would...I said I wish we would normalise active fathering because it is important to show that women and men are both needed at the workplace as much as at home. Men reading this, take all your paternity leave entitlements! If you are a manager, encourage your teammates to do so - Ask them to plan to be there for their wives, to learn how to feed, burp, change diapers for the baby the same time as their wives. This was personally so important to me because of all the raging hormonal changes that was making me really emotionally charged all the time in the first 9 months after childbirth. Just my husband being there for me, and knowing that I can count on him when I really needed a break was important. Of all the things I said in the panel discussion, I was glad that this message particularly struck a chord. Someone in the session then said, I got to leave now because my wife is dealing with 2 screaming children on her own right now. Immediately practising what I preached!

I was also asked a question on how I "balance people whose passion comes across too aggressively", and how to "better encourage those who feel they don't have the stage to be passionate to find their voice". My personal experiences tell me that passion sometimes means making a point with a lot of emotions. In such circumstances, the recipients tended to register the emotions more than the content (especially if the emotions were on the negative spectrum e.g. frustration/anger). In some of those instances, it's almost impossible to de-escalate the situation immediately (and hence the feeling of "aggression"). But in a 1:1 when I get people to explain to me again, more calmly this time, I've often concluded that we were all heading in the same direction, people just needed to practise active listening + speak more clearly without getting agitated! It's also good feedback for these passionate people that it is possible to get heard and get buy-in!

As for people who don't feel like they have a voice, I think it's important for us to identify these people and provide them opportunities to speak their minds. I've had the privilege of having enablers throughout my life where they notice I've been quiet all session because I couldn't get a word in, and they just pause the conversation to ask what I think so that I get a say. I pay this forward. When I run my team meetings, I do that too and over time normalise expectations that everyone has the right to speak their minds and ask questions.

I guess to conclude, happy 5 year anniversary to me for growing alongside Workato! More "dots" to connect backwards...