Connecting In A Less Connected World

Last week I had three separate conversations with three separate mentees – all from different organizations.

But all three of them asked me about the same issue: how can I grow my network, and how can I build trust – within my network, as well as within my immediate team?

These two issues – trust and networks – are really two sides of the same coin. And right now we live in a world where – just like my mentees – many of us feel less connected to colleagues, and feel like our networks are more siloed, with fewer people who have different perspectives and experiences.

Which begs the question: what do we do about it?

Below are some of the ideas that I shared with my mentees.

Build Trust

1.??Be yourself. People can sense inauthenticity, which negates trust. So, to build a relationship with someone, be both authentic and transparent. When a new member joins our team, it’s compelling to present the polished version of our history and mandate, but that doesn’t form a connection. So, I, instead, include the challenges of our journey, as well as my own motivations and concerns.

2.??Listen. We often go into new relationships eager to establish who we are and talk too much (I know I do, especially in new relationships!). But it is much more important to listen to the other person. Not only do we learn much more by listening, but it also makes them feel heard and understood, which helps build a connection.?

3.??Connect. Building trust can be harder in a virtual world, but it’s possible when we invest time and attention to getting to know each other. This means not just having transactional interactions, but also laughing together and creating moments and memories (i.e. a game night or coffee break, not just meetings). I love sharing articles, books, or videos with someone in my network who may also benefit from or enjoy it. Making introductions or sharing resources shows people that you are paying attention and are invested in them.

Build Your Network ?

4.??Give. As I build new relationships, I try to put myself in their shoes and think about what’s in it for them. What do they need? What can I offer someone? But, per #2 above, I don’t assume I know - I often just ask them “What can I do for you? What do you need right now?” Even if they don’t have an answer in the moment, it opens the channel for future requests.

5.??…And take (but with focus). I am mindful of people’s time and attention, especially in a world of Zoom fatigue. I focus on how to best leverage each network and the people within it, then limit my requests accordingly. One of my mentors suggests asking for advice or guidance to open the door with senior people within a network. It’s a compliment to their experience, and I learn so much.

6.??Give more. Likewise, when building a presence within that network, I think about what I can share that is unique. What perspectives could I provide that are different and relevant? What resources or trends am I aware of that may benefit others? Offering those unique parts of yourself compliments #4 above nicely as you build new relationships within your network.

Building trust and my networks helps me feel more connected, both in and out of work. Tapping into those relationships makes me realize my concerns aren’t unique and challenges me to broaden my perspective, which, ultimately, leads to a better response that I’m more confident in. This is even more important when people feel more siloed and less connected.

This is what has worked for me. However, every person is different, so I’d love to hear from others. What has worked for you? What have you seen others do that really resonated with you?

Views are my own and don't reflect the views of my employer.?