Connecting with Kevin Ed. 10

Happy New Year! Welcome to the 10th edition of Connecting with Kevin! In this edition, we discuss 2024 while looking forward to 2025.

2024 In Review

As I've said before, I'm not a huge proponent of "resolutions". It has always felt like a futile effort to resolve to do anything when "life" doesn't really care about your resolutions. Work in silence, I guess. However, I made the mistake of not only making some loose 2024 resolutions, but I WROTE THEM DOWN!! What was I thinking?! Now I can't hide behind my own admission that I don't make them so I can't fail.

So, let's go back and see what was said one year ago this week:

"I've committed to (the gym) 3 days per week (Minimum), and 4 days per week as the optimal goal"

I'll give myself a B- in this area. I started the year by playing basketball with friends at 5AM a few days a week, and hitting the weights on occasion. It was NOT 3 days per week. HOWEVER, I have amazing friends who care about me. During the course of a late-spring conversation with a friend, I told him what I was struggling with, and what I felt I needed.

About two weeks later, the same friend invited me to lunch/drinks. After a few minutes of conversation, another man joined us, and I immediately knew what was happening. This man was built like a Mack truck, a local personal trainer, and a friend to my friend. We talked. We agreed to a 3 day a week schedule for weight lifting. That was six months ago, and I literally just got home from seeing "Kenny". Thanks for caring about me, Alex Ferreira .

"With that focus comes a new desire to stimulate my brain in more productive ways than social media."

This is an area I'd give myself a passing grade, but the same passing grade that Tommy Callahan got in Tommy Boy. I barely passed.

I didn't read nearly the number of books I wanted to read, but dammit if I didn't try. While doing some year-end cleaning last weekend, I found several books that had been read half-way through. As it goes with TV shows, if you don't get me in the first several chapters, you should have little hope of me reading the rest. I need a concept or idea that my brain finds interesting/new/funny, and I need it to happen quickly.

My favorite read of the year was The Women, by Kristin Hannah. The book is about female nurses/doctors in the Vietnam War. I couldn't put it down. A little bit of history, a little bit of drama, a little bit of love. Highly Recommend.

"...but the first step is acknowledgement that I need to be around people who inspire and encourage me."

This is an area of my life that I've been able to make some strides. As I mentioned above, I have amazing friends. My definition of amazing friends are people who understand the give and take of relationships. When I'm down, they pick me up, when they're down, I pick them up. When we're both down, we split a bottle of Maker's Mark, and call it a day. Great friendships flow. They take very little effort, and the balance of energy stays pretty centered most of the time. Check on each other. Push back a little when appropriate. Above all else, tell them you love them. I'm grateful for the people in my life.

Overall, 2024 was a year with challenges. Some bad things happened, some great things happened, but overall, it was a year of growth.

Onward...

2025, and beyond

Last year, I listed my goals in three separate areas. Mind, Body, and Soul. I'll do the same this year.

Mind - This won't change much from last year. Less TV, less social media, less garbage that only pollutes my brain. While I enjoy my novice mechanic work, I'm keeping that to brake jobs, oil changes, and general maintenance. I'm not sure about tearing more engines out of cars. It's a big job, and I'm not qualified. I've decided to take up the hobby of turning champagne and wine bottles into candles. I've not started this yet, but it won't be long. I'm excited to experiment with scents, different size bottles, and wax colors. (Edit: after I wrote this last part, I cut my first wine bottle. It wasn't a perfect cut, but I know what I did wrong, and excited to continue experimenting)

I'm not going to hold myself accountable for reading. I don't LOVE it, and I don't want to force myself to do something I do not love. My ADHD doesn't do well with that. I would like to do more puzzles, as they speak to my ADHD for some reason. I greatly enjoy puzzles depicting landscapes, cityscapes, or nature. Puzzles are great because I can set a timer for 30 minutes and be happy to walk away.

Therapy is high on my list of goals this year. Finding a good therapist is like dating. We've got awkward conversations, chemistry, and someone who can challenge your beliefs. Only, in this case, you're immediately talking about the hard stuff right out of the gate. I'm committed to finding someone that I can have around for years to come.

Body - The countdown to 50 is currently at ~18 months. While my goal has been to be in "good shape" at 50, I told my nephews in Hilton Head this summer that I'd like to play spike ball with them when I'm 70. If I'm going to do that, I need to stay strong. I'll continue seeing Kenny three days per week, but I'd like to add one day of cardio, specifically boxing on my Oculus VR headset. That workout is intense, and I can barely get a round in these days.

Anyone who knows me isn't going to be shocked by my next sentence, but I drink too much. I don't drink to excess, but I see it as a nightly ritual. The signal that the harder part of the day is over, and now it is time to relax. In the past, that has been a couple-ish glasses of bourbon. I have no interest in "dry January" or whatever we want to call it. My dry January is going to include ONE glass of dry red wine on the week days, if I want. I'm allowed to have bourbon on Friday and Saturday. I'll allow some grace on difficult days, but by and large, no more bourbon on weekdays. The reason being, if I'm eating reasonably healthy, and chasing it all with 6 oz of bourbon, it ain't going to do my body much good when I sleep.

Soul - The word that circles in my head constantly is "legacy". What will my legacy be? When I'm long gone, what will my kids tell their grandkids? One of my favorite things my Mom likes to tell me is that I might be a bad influence on my friends, but you can't ever say you had a bad time. I've always been okay with that, but I also want to be known as someone who loved with his whole heart, said what he meant, and someone for whom you felt better by being around. What does that mean? Who knows, but it makes me think long and hard about the people I want to be around, the energy I want to give off, and the impression I want to leave on them.

I've always believed you are the sum of the people you hang around. If someone's energy works against my own, I'm open to exploring similarities or synergies with anyone, but I'll be quick to distance myself if I feel bad energy or bad intentions. At the end of the day, I'm the one that has to live with this mind, body, and soul. I need to take better care of all three.

Anyone got any fascinating or fun resolutions, please feel free to share them in the comments.

Happy new year to all. Let's go.