Connecting The Dots

A Lesson in Reading the Language and Behaviour of Your Boss and Stakeholders

Have you ever left a meeting with your boss or stakeholders feeling unsure about what they really meant? Or perhaps you’ve heard phrases like, “You need more exposure” or “Take on more responsibility”, but didn’t quite know how to act on them? As a coach, I’ve worked with many ambitious professionals who miss subtle but powerful cues from their leaders. These cues often hold the key to unlocking senior-level opportunities — but interpreting them requires stepping outside of your own perspective and into the mindset of those at the top.

This article will help you decode the hidden language and behaviours of your boss and stakeholders, so you can connect the dots and position yourself for growth. We’ll explore the subtle signals you might be missing, provide a practical 5-point action plan, and share a case study to show how this works in practice.

Why Reading Between the Lines Matters

In leadership conversations, what’s not said is often just as important as what is. At senior levels, communication is rarely direct — leaders expect you to interpret their needs and demonstrate initiative.

Here are some examples of hidden words and actions that developing managers might overlook:

Hidden Words

1. "You need more exposure" This often means: Your work is good, but not enough people know about it. You need to raise your profile through cross-functional projects or visible initiatives.
2. "Take on more responsibility" Translation: We’re testing your ability to lead. Step up and show you can handle a larger scope without waiting to be told.
3. "We need to think more strategically" This suggests: Shift your focus from the details to the bigger picture. How does your work align with our long-term goals?
4. "Let’s revisit this in a month" Often a polite way of saying: This needs more work or isn’t a priority right now. Refine your approach or tackle more urgent issues first.
5. "You’re doing great" While this sounds positive, it can be vague. It might mean: You’re meeting expectations, but not necessarily exceeding them. Are you going above and beyond?

Hidden Actions

1. Delegating a high-profile project: This is a test of your ability to deliver under pressure and influence others.
2. Inviting you to senior meetings: A sign they want you to observe and learn how leadership operates.
3. Asking you to lead a team or initiative: They’re assessing your leadership potential — not just your technical skills.
4. Providing vague or minimal feedback: This can indicate they’re giving you space to demonstrate your initiative and independence.
5. Introducing you to other senior leaders: A clear signal that they’re helping you build relationships for advancement.

A 5-Point Action Plan to Connect the Dots

To interpret and act on these signals effectively, follow this practical action plan:

1. Listen Actively and Ask Clarifying Questions

When your boss or stakeholders give feedback, listen carefully and, if needed, ask clarifying questions such as:

• “Could you share an example of what you mean by ‘more exposure’?”
• “How do you see this project aligning with the company’s broader goals?”

This not only shows initiative but also helps you understand their expectations.

2. Observe Non-Verbal Cues

Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and timing. For example, if your boss seems distracted during a meeting, it could signal that your proposal isn’t aligned with their priorities. Adjust accordingly.

3. Shift Your Perspective

Stop viewing situations purely from your own point of view. Ask yourself: What does my boss or stakeholder need to achieve? How does my role fit into their bigger picture? For example, if they mention “strategic thinking,” consider how your work impacts other teams, customers, or the company's long-term vision. Show that you understand and are working toward those outcomes.

4. Be Proactive

Don’t wait for explicit instructions. If your boss mentions “taking on more responsibility,” volunteer for a challenging project or identify a problem you can solve. This demonstrates leadership and initiative.

5. Build Relationships and Visibility

Actively network with senior leaders and peers in other departments. Attend cross-functional meetings, participate in company events, and showcase your work. The more people who recognise your value, the stronger your position for advancement.

Case Study: Connecting the Dots in Action

Let’s look at Jane, a mid-level manager in a tech company, who worked her way into a senior leadership role by interpreting her boss’s subtle signals.

The Situation

Jane’s boss frequently mentioned that she needed “more exposure” and advised her to “think more strategically.” Initially, Jane thought this meant attending more meetings and focusing on completing her projects efficiently. However, despite her hard work, she wasn’t being considered for senior roles.

The Shift

Through coaching, Jane learned to step into her boss’s perspective. She realised that “more exposure” meant raising her profile across the company, not just within her team. She also understood that “thinking strategically” required aligning her work with the company’s long-term goals.

The Actions

1. Jane volunteered to lead a high-profile cross-functional project, which required collaboration with multiple departments.
2. She prepared a presentation for senior leaders, highlighting how her team’s work contributed to the company’s strategic objectives.
3. She sought mentorship from a senior leader outside her department to gain broader insights.
4. She started providing proactive updates to her boss, focusing on outcomes rather than just tasks.
5. She built relationships with key stakeholders, ensuring her contributions were visible to decision-makers.

The Outcome

Within six months, Jane’s efforts were recognised. Her boss praised her for stepping up, and she was promoted to a senior management role with a clear path to the C-suite.

Ready to Connect the Dots in Your Career?

Reading the language and behaviour of your boss and stakeholders is a skill that can transform your career. By understanding their subtle cues and aligning your actions with their goals, you can position yourself as an indispensable leader.

If you’re ready to take the next step and need help connecting the dots, work with The Breakthrough Coach to achieve your career aims. Many others have done so with significant success — and so can you. Let’s unlock your leadership potential together.