Connecting Deeper With Your Horse

I was recently with one of my clients who has rescued a horse, as so many have. The horse has made huge leaps in training and is doing very well. However, for any human dealing with a horse that has been neglected, or otherwise had a difficult time connecting with humans, there is always a huge learning curve.

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Not only do you need to learn how to be a real horse trainer in no time, because the horse might have dangerous or unpleasant behavioral patterns or perhaps he’s never been ridden and you need to “back” him for the first time, you also need buckets of patience, a firm yet kind hand, the ability to communicate the right kind of body language to him, and never forget to love the horse in the process.

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It’s a hard process.

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Besides all the above, you also need to have the same buckets of patience, love and support for yourself.

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Horses like this can be explosive and potentially scary to be around and overcoming your own fear in order to really deal with the horse is necessary.

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Rescuing a horse can be very rewarding though, but it’s not a process I usually recommend for anyone who isn’t an experienced horse person who has dealt with difficult horses before and can sit a buck with confidence.

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Definitely don’t do it if you would consider yourself a timid rider/handler or get scared or frustrated easily.

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The energy you emit has a lot to do with how successful you will be with a horse like this. Low energy is not the same as a calm leadership energy. Many people are afraid of being dominant. They think that being dominant means being aggressive or mean to the horse, which is not the case at all. It’s more about taking ownership.

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If you are low energy with a horse that is dominant or potentially dangerous, the horse will understand this behavior as you being lower on the totem pole than him and will push you around.

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This could show up as stepping on your toes, pushing you with his shoulder, biting or even kicking you.

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These behaviors are used to “push” you out of his space. Horses show dominance by “owning space”.

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Therefore, to get the respect of a dominant or “insecure dominant” horse, it’s important that you move the horse out of your space and that you take charge of the “air space” and the ground around you.

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The horse must learn not to move into your space unless invited to do so. This is communicated through either expanding your body language and energy to push the horse further out, or by retracting your energy and making your body language more passive to invite the horse closer again.

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But there comes a point where you might really have to step up and convince the horse once and for all to let down his defenses and accept you as the leader.

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Years ago, when my stallion was young, he would test my confidence by spooking at something, stopping hard and running backwards. He would run fast and blindly backwards. He wouldn’t pay attention to what was behind him at all. It didn’t matter whether he was running into a busy street, about to back into a ditch or run into a tree. If I applied my legs to make him go forward, he would run even faster backward.

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This was a scary experience, especially because of what he might crash into. There were times that even if the Grand Canyon had been behind him, he would still have run as fast and as blindly as he could and probably stepped right into the abyss.

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I tried many different things to fix this behavior. In the end, I had to buckle down and convince him that my will was stronger than his and he had to believe in me as his leader so that he could stop overreacting and trust that he would be safe wherever I guided him.

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So, I took “ownership” not just of the space and the ground we were on but of his body and mind. I strapped on my helmet and a vest as I didn’t know whether we would end up upside down in a ditch - and I rode him through it.

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In the past I had always ended up getting off, as it was so dangerous, but knowing that I had tried everything else in my repertoire of desensitizing and using exercises, etc., to build his confidence and it still wasn’t fully fixed. There was no other choice but to step off the deep end and get “in there” with him.

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I could feel my confidence spilling into him almost straight away. Although it did take commitment and perseverance to fully fix it, when I ride him today, he might look at something but then I can feel his attention check in with me, and when I tell him to go on with confidence he does, and we are now a true partnership.

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He looks to me for everything and because we are now partners, there are many times where I can let him lead me instead of me always being in charge.

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Partnership like this is built on respect and trust and doesn’t always come easy; however, it’s so worth it.

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If your horse trusts and loves you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he respects you. He also needs to earn your respect and trust, and you might have to get in there and be dominant in order to show him that you are worthy of his trust and respect. All of this is done with kindness and love, never violence or anger. It’s important to know the difference.

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So don’t be afraid to show your horse the way. If you do it right, it will be the right thing for both of you.

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Ride in Lightness

Celie

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