Connecting with Anil Dash

How have relationships influenced your professional development and leadership style?

Everything that has sustained me or been valuable over time in the course of my career and professional life is grounded in relationships. The people around me have opened doors and opened my eyes, been the inspiration for new ideas and the necessary call-in when I’m off track, as well as the source of resilience and rejuvenation when I’ve faced setbacks or made mistakes. Literally nothing has influenced me more in building a career (and life!) with purpose then being surrounded by people who enable real, meaningful, challenging, and durable relationships.

Do you have any tips for maintaining and building strong relationships?

I think the two keys to lasting relationships are curiosity and sincerity. You have to really want to know that person, to understand what inspires and motivates them, and to be honest and true in your connection to them and your support of them. I always say that I’m a big fan of being a big fan of things, and that’s never more true than of the important people in my life; I love rooting for my friends and family like I’m their biggest fan, and I love to show people gratitude when they’ve done things I find meaningful, even if we don’t yet have a relationship.

How have you intentionally built inclusiveness into your circles?

I think for me it’s reflexive, as I know that I’m an outsider or nontraditional in so many of the places that I work in or collaborate in. So that makes me seek out others who are similarly nontraditional, either because they have faced barriers or because there are systemic barriers in their way. There’s such a joy in finding connection with others who’ve been through struggles that are different, but still deeply resonant, and pursuing those connections makes my circles more inclusive just as a natural output.

What community or communities are you proud to be a part of?

There are obvious communities that I can claim as part of my public persona or identity, like being a New Yorker or being South Asian, and I’m always glad to do so. But I also find a lot of resonance in less obvious communities that are formed by affinity or experience, like those of us who don’t have a college degree, or other dads who question the conventional roles that masculinity demands of us as parents, or geeks who get really excited about the internet of people instead of just big companies. Even fandoms really make for meaningful connections. I love to find thoughtful and resonant discussions around things that others have dismissed as ephemeral pop culture.

Who’s a Connector that's made a difference in your life?

There are almost too many to name. I think many ways one of the most powerful connectors I know is my wife Alaina Browne, because she’s very nontraditional about it. She is an introvert where I am an extrovert, more contemplative where I’m far more outgoing. But she’s able to draw people out and inspire them and see different facets of what makes people interesting, which is both wonderful for making lasting relationships, and also teaches me to be more probing and curious about those I connect with. It’s especially important for me because I have a somewhat distorted social network, where social media has introduced a number of parasocial relationships that could easily be superficial or unproductive. But thanks to having a partner who is thoughtful and careful about the way she builds lasting, meaningful relationships, it’s given me some of the insights and self-reflection on how to do the same.

Susan McPherson is a serial connector, seasoned communicator and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a communications consultancy focused on the intersection of brands and social impact. She is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships.

Follow Susan on LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram and order her new book, The Lost Art of Connecting, also available on Kindle and Audiobook.