Connecting with Ambika Gautam Pai

Ambika Gautam Pai is the head of brand at TIAA and the host of Corner Office Breakdowns, a podcast that reconciles humanity and workplace. Prior to TIAA, she was the Chief Strategy Officer at Mekanism and she now takes the strategic skillset she spent 15+ years cultivating in advertising, and applies it to evolving challenges in our modern work-life.

How have relationships influenced your professional development and leadership style?

I think everyone who works with other people day-to-day needs to understand that they’re in the business of people. Nothing is more important than relationships. They’re what make work worth doing, places worth leaving, and hard times worth over-coming. Throughout my career, the one type of relationship dynamic I’ve tried to stay away from is overly hierarchal dynamics. Seniority does not equate to superiority – my leadership style is to be on the ground and in the trenches with my team and follow their lead as much as they follow mine.

Do?you?have any tips for maintaining and building strong relationships?

First, be a human. Lean in when someone speaks, make eye contact, and most importantly, learn active listening. Train your brain not to race ahead in search of a response. I was also once told that if something crosses your mind and takes less than three minutes – do it. I apply that to outreach and maintaining relationships as well. If someone crosses my mind, I let them know. Whether it’s sending an article, a meme, or just a simple voice note (game changer!) saying hello.

I also overcommunicate about moments when I’ll be unplugging to ensure those I care about know that if I’m silent, it’s for me, it’s not because of them.

How have?you?intentionally built inclusiveness into your circles?

Inclusivity starts with authenticity, and so I always, unapologetically, show up as myself. I show up as a mother, a child of immigrants, a member of the South Asian diaspora, a strategist, someone who struggles with anxiety. And because I model that behavior, other people tend to be more comfortable showing up as themselves. I’ve also gotten comfortable with uncomfortable conversations and confrontations. I always assume good intent and enter every conversation with an open mind and open heart, ready to expand my horizons. Keep your guard down unless there’s a real reason to put it back up.

What community or communities are?you?proud to be a part of?

I’m grateful that the advertising community – a collection of brilliant, empathetic, culture-and-category-shifting – still considers me one of their own, even though I’ve moved “in-house” to TIAA , my current work community focused on solving the retirement crisis in America.

My podcast, Corner Office Breakdowns , has been a magnet for my fellow working (outside of the home) mothers and wow – what a community that is.

Erin Gallagher ’s Fairway Events have been a magical way to connect with other women at the intersection of success, support, and spirituality. I cherish every event of hers.

Right now, I’m calling two communities – one, my fellow South Asians as we collectively navigate new interpretations of our culture and carry traditions forward to the next generation. And two – people who are invested in connecting with and reaching the highest versions of themselves in order to imagine a future filled with the highest good for all.

Who’s a Connector that's made a difference in your life??

In my day-to-day life, my boss and soul-friend, Zara Mirza , is the ultimate connector. I am learning what true generosity – of mind, spirit, and network! – look like by working with Zara. She is the embodiment of leadership we all need in our corner.

I am also in constant awe of Joshua Michael Schrei, host of The Emerald podcast. He dives deep into the myths, stories, and philosophies that have shaped our world, and gives us the ancestral knowledge to truly live and be present with the human experience.

It's an honor to feature inspiring change-makers across industries who share their stories and words of wisdom about how to build meaningful relationships. Catch up on #CONNECTED with our previous guests, including Kari Niedfeldt-Thomas , Anna-Marie Harling , Niki King and more!

Susan McPherson is a serial connector, seasoned communicator and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies , a communications consultancy focused on the intersection of brands and social impact. She is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships.

Follow Susan on LinkedIn , Twitter and Instagram and order her new book, The Lost Art of Connecting , also available on Kindle and Audiobook.