Connecting after COVID

One of the things that I have been reflecting on this week, is the impact that COVID is still having on our ability to connect. I find that it continues to impact how we reconnect with our networks and former interests and sometimes how comfortable we are about attempting to make new connections, now that lockdowns and restrictions seem to be behind us. Put simply by one friend over dinner this week, my suggestion that comes at the end of each of these posts to "stay safe and stay connected", might be what we would benefit from doing, but isn't easy to achieve at the moment.

When I reflect on this, I am reminded that there are still so many differing responses to COVID within our community. One client talking to me this week shared?her outrage about how while she was at a recent gathering at her children's school, strangers were shaking hands, but also eating finger-food. She admitted that this is not something that would have worried her two years ago. COVID has really ratcheted up her concern about germs she explains, and she says that she feels quite anxious now in busy social environments. At the opposite extreme, another client was just as appalled as she told me about a current trend which she is noticing, for people to hold COVID parties. At these events, friendship groups or groups of colleagues will get together when one or more of them has COVID, in the hope that they can all get the experience of having the virus over and done with.?

Now while these two examples might be extreme, I believe that most of us have been impacted in some way, by our years of living COVIDLY, and it shows up in so many different ways. Some people have been?impacted so much by the loneliness of lockdown, that they have been delighted to rejoin the world again, and are glorying in the return of live music and sport. Others remain cautious in particular environments, while some people are still moving around in the community with masks on, every time they step out of their doors.?

So, although we may be experiencing the desire in ourselves to get out there and amongst it, taking the steps involved to do that might still be feeling hard. Alternatively, we may be feeling the pressure not so much from within ourselves, but from those around us. Many workplaces?are expecting their employees to get back to the office for example. Friends or family may be wanting us to join social gatherings. The problem is however, that if COVID has left us feeling fearful about doing these things, this fear can be hard to talk about. I find that many people are fearing judgment about reactions that others feel are over the top, and that that again can lead to social isolation.?

So, how do we help ourselves? Well if you find yourself having one of these reactions, and perhaps feeling this anxiety, the important thing is going to be to acknowledge it. Many people experienced the last two years as traumatic, and put simply, your reaction is your reaction. I think that if we are able to do that, when we are able to accept our feelings for what they are, we then have a better chance of making that re-connection. We also can reassure ourselves, can show ourselves some compassion as we make our attempts to attend events and might even be able to enlist support from people around us. My point here though is that?however fearful we may feel, for most of us connection is a key ingredient of mental well-being.?

Essentially, we are social beings. Connection allows us the opportunity to share ideas and to expand our horizons. Positive connection can give us the feeling of belonging, or can give us that soothing experience of feeling that we are?understood. Just one experience of that sort of connection can change our perspective about ourselves and our abilities, and just as importantly, connection also opens us up to the possibility of having some fun, of relaxation and sometimes even of joy. Who doesn't benefit from that??

So, as you go about your week, I think that we need to keep this conversation open; to explore anything that makes us hesitant, and to look at what we can do to reduce our anxiety. Just as importantly, in these conversations, we need to listen to others rather than jumping in with judgments, and appreciate that we are all having a range of responses to a traumatic experience. Have a great week everyone; stay safe, and remember to reach out to each other to make that connection possible.